Postpartum Issues! STILL

It’s like my body said, “Well you are 4 weeks postpartum and you haven’t had many issues so let’s load you up with some!”

I stopped having a lot of bleeding a couple weeks ago but then on the way to Melbourne I had really bad cramps. Like period cramps. I got a little concerned and wondered what was up but it said online that I could be “supposed” to have a period then but since I’m nursing that my body went through the motions of the normal period symptoms without the actual period!

I had no spotting all weekend but then I got home and had quite a bit of it for a couple of days…so my question is could I have a period this soon? I heard I shouldn’t get one for like 6 months since I’m breastfeeding but my symptoms seem like I could have had one already…This is something I need to ask the dr. at my 6 week check-up for sure!

Along the same lines, I started getting a lot of pain in my lower stomach. Not period type pain but hurting. It hurt to walk especially. I googled it (like I do everything else!) and it said I could be over doing it and doing too much too soon. I really never thought about that. I didn’t know having a baby is one of those things that once you felt okay you could still not be 100% ok. I have felt great so why not run errands? Why not take Kye on 30-45 min walks? I didn’t feel like I was overdoing it but I guess maybe I was! When the rain poured down those couple of days I was forced to rest more and be stuck inside and the pain has gone away so I guess that’s what it was.

I also didn’t realize that “down there” could continue to have issues. Again, I thought my stitches were healed, all was well and that I could go back to business as usual. I go, I wipe, I flush. I shower, I wash down there, I dry. The other day my butt started to hurt…pretty big time! It hurt to sit very badly, to walk, and to poop. I tried putting hemorrhoid cream down there and it burned and burned! I called my dad and asked for advice and he said if the cream burned that it wasn’t a hemorrhoid. So I got back out the ring thing to sit on, got back out the squirt bottle to rinse off down there, and started to treat “down there” a little more gently. Mom also suggested that I drink Benefiber so I’m going to get some of that as well and see if it helps things come out a little easier.

As we all know I suffered from mastitis. It was not fun…it made my breastfeeding awful and cost us $40 for the antibiotic. It healed up and I was finally getting used to, and enjoying, the nursing experience. Well last Thursday I got a lot of pain in my right breast (it’s always the right one!). It felt like a pair of pliers was twisting my nipple whenever he fed and burned like wildfire about ten minutes after he got done. I tried to ignore it. I prayed it’d just go quietly away.

Of course it didn’t and over the weekend it got worse. I started to DREAD feeding him which I never thought I’d do. If he was asleep I became less hardcore about his schedule and would let him sleep 15 min or so longer just because I didn’t want to go through the pain of feeding him. I know that’s not good and I decided to call the dr. first thing Monday.

Sunday night though I had a REALLY hard time. I felt so upset and discouraged in a way I haven’t felt since he was born. I had told myself when I got the mastits that if one more thing went wrong with breastfeeding I was going to quit. I already had cracked, bleeding nipples then I had mastitis which meant fever and pain so why would I want to continue going through any other issues? Sunday was the first time that I wholeheartedly wanted to stop. I did. And I felt so so so so so guilty for it. I really broke down and had a good cry. Actually, a couple of them.

I had a goal for breastfeeding (6 months) and now I was just going to stop. I felt disappointed in myself and I knew Zach would also be disappointed in me as I think breastfeeding is just as important to him as it is to me. I told Zach I just needed some time to feel sorry for myself so I totally let it all out. When I went to bed that night I still felt the same way yet I continued to feed him on schedule. I think it helped that I didn’t have ANY other choice! Was I really willing to quit enough to get ready, drive to Walmart, and spend the money on formula? Nope.

I told my mom all of this and she asked when I decided not to stop doing it…well I never really decided! I guess just in my heart I knew I wouldn’t stop and he’s on such a schedule so I just kept following that and bearing through the pain not really thinking about their being other options available to me.

I researched my symptoms and all signs pointed to a yeast infection in my breast. So when I called the dr. I explained what was going on and they prescribed me an antibiotic again without making me go into their office, which was awesome. Zach picked it up for me (another $40 grrreat) and it was just 3 little pink pills! I was told to take one a day for three days and that was it!

In the meantime the pain continued. I clench up when he feeds like I haven’t really done since I first had him. It’s awful. I took the pill Monday night. Then Tues night. No change. Horrible pinching and horrible burning. It also had started to have some mild symptoms in my left breast. I broke down and called the dr. again and this time they told me to come in.

They weighed me which was annoying because I go for my 6 week check up next week and I’d rather just get bad news once instead of twice! I still have 18 pounds to lose to be back to my prepregnancy weight (22 to be where I want to be). YUCK!!! I swear the scale sucks b/c I don’t LOOK like I am 18 pounds overweight AT ALL. I think I look pretty good and isn’t that what matters? Zach swears that each of my breasts weigh 5 lbs haha.

Anyway I saw Debbie, the midwife who delivered Kye, and I don’t know if she remembered me or not. She had me take off my bra and wear one of those little cover things and I leaked like CRAZY. I was standing there waiting for her to come in and looking at the board of baby pictures and I heard a “drip drip” I looked down and my shoes and jeans had spots on them and there was a PUDDLE on the floor! So when she finally came in the room I was just holding my breasts to try to stop the flow haha.

She said my breasts look good and that it could actually be some symptoms left over from the mastitis. She did prescribe me a cream to put on my nipples that should heal it. It was $50!!! So total I’ve spent $130 on my BREASTS. FUN. When Zach brought home the prescription it said “for vaginal use only” Ummm gross. I called the pharmacy and they said that it is okay to use it on my nipples and to just make sure to clean them off really well before he feeds.

I started using the cream yesterday and they are feeling a little better. I took the last of the pills last night so maybe that will help too. I’m really really praying that this is my LAST issue! I’m ready to just ENJOY breastfeeding like I heard so many mothers do! Luckily, Kye shows no signs of thrush (which is a yeast infection in his mouth which he could get from me and then pass the yeast back to me…a cycle we don’t want to start). So that’s a positive. Won’t it be hilarious someday to tell him that he ate on my nipple after I had vaginal cream on it??? So sick! But if it works then it’s all worth it!

Now that he’s 5 weeks old I’m hoping I’m done, not only with breastfeeding issues, but with any postpartum healing stuff. So much of me feels like I’m back to being ME and I hate when some random thing pops up to remind me that I did pretty much just give birth!