Writing a birthday letter to each of my children on their birthdays is a fun way to look back on the year behind them as well as look ahead towards the year to come. I love this chance to reflect and focus on them as individuals as well as on the unique bond I share with each of them. This is a letter to my son on his 8th birthday.
Dear Spear,
They say that the age of seven is the golden year of childhood, but with you I have no doubt that the year of eight will be just as great!
Although you continue to be your precious, sweet, silly, adorable self, you have grown up in many ways throughout this last year.
Looking at these pictures, you can SEE the progression. The little round baby belly disappearing…and those baby teeth falling out left and right too!
You lost that first tooth last year but man once one fell out the rest just came on after. It’s so crazy how much those big kid teeth change your entire look. Those small things make a big impact on how GROWN you look!
As much as you still FEEL like my little baby (and you’ll always be THE baby of the family!), you, my sweet boy, are definitely entering in the “big kid” stage of childhood.
For your 7th birthday, we celebrated at Disney, but you also really wanted a “real party” with kids from school. I laugh so much about what that looked like for me to host. No Pinterest theme. No hard work. You wanted an after-school jump party, so we went, and we jumped! It was low-key and simple, and you LOVED it.
You are very go-with-the-flow but also decisive. You know what you want, and you express it. But you also are very quick to bounce back if what you want is not able to happen, plans change, or the answer is “no.”
You don’t sit in sorrow. You don’t lash out in anger. You are just HAPPY. Content. Joyful and joy-filled. It makes it even more fun to be able to say YES to you when you have ideas like the jump party.
You love and appreciate everything we do and are always so happy to tag along with the older kids on their stuff that it’s extra special to get to have things be about YOU and what you want!
As you get older, it’s also fun to see the ways in which we differ in our parenting of you. It’s funny because Kye often says we aren’t as hard on you as we were on him, but man, I feel like you hear the word “no” more than any other word.
Some may say you’re spoiled but baby you’re just dessert 😉
Seriously though, I think it’s a normal older brother thing to be annoyed by. I will agree that no child indeed gets the same parent. Daddy and I parent each of you differently for many reasons. Because each of you is a different person with different needs, yes. But also because Daddy and I are each different people at each stage of your lives than we were at that same age and stage of your siblings’.
I think I notice the differences most when I compare my parenting to you vs. what it was with Kye at your age because you are both boys, but also because you are both the bookends of my parenting career. The first and the last! The beginning and the end.
I often joke about how I can’t fathom that I was born when my dad was the age I am now. Whew, I’m TIRED and can’t fathom a newborn! But that age does play a role in the way I show up as a parent.
Age gives me exhaustion, sure, but it also gives me the ability to see more clearly what really matters. What is worth the time, energy, and effort. Areas I should have chilled out more with my first and things I want to soak in and savor more with my last.
My dad used to always joke that my younger brother and I “kept him young” and the same is true with parenting you. You keep me busy in the best way, and I just love the unique experience and perspective I get to enjoy as an “older mom” with a kid your age!
I appreciate you in such a special way. I hold you a bit tighter, knowing the last time I hold one of my children on my hip will be when you are too big to do so. I slow down more. Never wanting to rush the little in-between moments of childhood that I know will be the ones I will miss the most.
I cherish you and enjoy you and just wanna soak in all the Spear sweetness I can! Although I know the day will come when you stop being able to be carried, I cannot see a future in which you stop loving your mama as fiercely as you do.
You love to give me kisses and snuggle me and continue to “need” to hear me sing our song each night. You make it known to everyone that Mama is your favorite person in the entire world.
And while it’s precious and I LOVE IT I also know that the way you love me will change when the day comes that you meet your wife. But I think the way you love me will only benefit her. You’ll love her so well and so completely! She will be one lucky lady to have you as her husband.
You also have the advantage of having two awesome older sisters who help prep you for life with a wife someday. You relate so well to girls and typically come home talking about your “girl friends” at school. Especially Penelope. She has been your favorite friend since preschool, and getting to watch you with her running laps was such a sweet moment.
The two of you laughed and talked, and you led her by the hand around the track. I love watching you in your element with your friends at school and seeing the kindness you show to everyone, but especially the girls. You are respectful and protective and so kind.
You have just the most loving heart, and I know that will make you such a caring husband and amazing father. You already ADORE babies.
I sometimes feel guilty that we are done having babies because you would make such a great big brother. You LIGHT UP when you see a little baby. For such a rough and tough (and often wild) boy, you are so gentle and patient with little ones.
Speaking of your “wildness.” You continue to love the outdoors and exploring and playing after school. You LOVE going to school. Your drawing continues to absolutely blow us all away. I’m fascinated by how you can just randomly start drawing. No sketching, no planning it out. You have a vision in your mind, and you can communicate that so seamlessly on paper.
You also have really started to LOVE reading. You love graphic novels and fact-type books (especially about dinosaurs and space). I got you a Yoto player for Christmas, and it’s been the BEST investment. You love audiobooks!
It’s crazy because you seem to really focus best when you’re distracted. You will listen to your Yoto, and the listening helps you complete other tasks, and I’ll often even catch you reading a book while listening.
You are in a great groove with your ADHD medication. We have also learned more about your specific needs and what may cause you to need some help, etc. The Yoto has really been a game-changer with that as well. Listening to it helps calm you and regulate your system.
When we travel, you get really overstimulated (don’t we all!), so I try to make sure you have some “Yoto time” towards the end of a long road trip and/or when we first arrive at our destination. It helps so much!
You are not an “iPad kid” as you do love to PLAY, but when you have iPad time it is tough for you to transition from the screens. It makes me very thankful that we were “so strict” with your older siblings about screen time, as it is something that really affects you. We don’t have any sort of daily screen time limit and truly limit it to only long car rides.
Car rides can be a struggle for you in general, as you get sick easily. Man you have ALWAYS been a car-sick kinda kid (just like I am!) and Daddy’s aggressive driving doesn’t do either of us any favors. Haha.
He’s learned to drive more carefully, and I’ve learned to keep puke bags on hand for you! Even though you do struggle with motion sickness, you are very adventurous with theme park rides.
The age of 7 is special at Disney World as it means you can ride rides solo butttt that still hasn’t happened for you yet and you’re now 8! That’s the perk of being the youngest. EVERYONE bickers over who gets to ride with you and you’re NEVER the one left without a ride partner.
Although, let’s be real, no one stands a chance of getting to ride with you when Kye is around.
You. Adore. Him.
Big brothers are meant to be the best friends of their little brothers, the one you look up to and idolize and want to be like when you grow up and that is, hands down, the relationship the two of you have started to really develop this year.
Your bonds with each of your siblings continue to grow stronger and stronger but you and Kye together is just a super special relationship. He always prayed for a little brother, and even when that prayer got answered, it took some time for you two to get to the point of truly being able to enjoy each other and share a real connection.
But here we are! He is ALWAYS the one you want to ride with, walk next to, and be near. I’m so thankful you have him as your older brother to look up to as he sets such a wonderful example for you. I’m also equally thankful he has you as his little brother. Kye tends to be more serious in his personality, but you bring out his laughter and silly side.
No other sound is as heartwarming as a mother’s as the sounds of my children laughing and playing together. I love when y’all roughhouse in the living room, chase each other, play pranks, or just laugh. I’m so blessed to have a house filled with joy and laughter.
They say the simple things in life are the best things and for me nothing makes my heart melt like watching the strong bonds my children share together. You are each other’s “safe place” and even as you each become your own person and enter into each new chapter life will bring that you always stay close to each other.
This has been the year of LEGO. Cam introduced you to Ninjago and let’s just say this year for Christmas you’ll have a LOT of easy-to-guess gifts under the tree.
We have had an issue with LEGO. Kye also loved LEGO at your age but would always build the kit per the instructions and then want to keep it that way forever. As in, here we are a decade later, and he still wants those sets in their completed state on display.
I think I’ve cried more tears over these dang LEGO sets than anything else since we’ve moved in our house. We thought the playroom would be a good place to display them, but your desire to get them down and play with them has just been a temptation you’ve struggled to resist.
Soooo many of Kye’s sets have ended up in pieces. We’ve done all sorts of things to try to remedy this issue! It’s tough as a mama because I “get it.”
I LOVE the way you PLAY with LEGO. You follow the instructions and build the kit and then you take it completely apart and use the pieces to create all sorts of new things. However, I also understand Kye’s love for his kits and the memories he has about assembling them and his desire to keep them intact. Hence my tears! I want little boy Spear to be able to PLAY and older Kye to be able to have his sentimental kits.
I’m crossing my fingers that you having so many of your own kits this Christmas will help you resist the temptation to get down his and will give you PLENTY of pieces to enjoy to your heart’s content!
I LOVE this age of childhood with you! We are truly able to go and do as a full family in a way we just haven’t been able to with a little one in tow. You are so much FUN and all of our adventures this year were really so epic.
Daddy and I are overfilling the calendar with trips and plans because we both know that we’re in this ideal point in parenting when all our kids are under our roof and old enough to go and do all the things!
We gotta make all the moments count and create all the memories we can!
We started off the year with SNOW and it was so amazing. It stuck for almost a solid week. Who would have ever thought that South Georgia would have snow on the ground long enough to be sick of it?!
We also went snow skiing in Virginia. You absolutely rocked out at it. You had no fear and just sped by us all down the mountains. It was such a better experience than Colorado was a few years ago. Again, you’re just the ideal age for things like this. You caught on quickly and were so fun to watch.
Of course we had many Disney Trips. I love how into dressing up as a “dragon slayer” you were during Tess’s Bippity Boppidi princess makeover.
We enjoyed our annual beach trip (you did SO awesome communicating to Mommy and Daddy the whole time about what you were doing and where you were going…def the least stressful Daddy and I have felt yet!) and even had a bonus trip to Myrtle Beach where we got to see a real magic show and enjoy a beautiful condo.
You attended your first Florida State game (a really cool experience for a kid named SPEAR!) and we took a quick cousin trip to Atlanta with Cam and Carter – you loved getting to visit the LEGO experience and I enjoyed getting to show you and Tess downtown Atlanta and the history there.
My favorite trip of the year with you, though, hands down, was New York City.
You LOVED getting to visit Bryant Park (YOUR park!) and especially getting to visit the Empire State Building to see King Kong (and watching the movie with you on the trip was a core memory for us all) and take a ferry to see the Statue of Liberty (who could forget George the tour guide).
We had such an absolute blast exploring the city, and you loved every second. You loved riding the subway, learning more about 9/11 at the memorial, and taking in your first Broadway shows. Seeing your face light up at getting to look at real dino bones at the museum was so special!
We added two kittens to the family this year! You are making sure they are well acclimated and have plenty of ways to get their kitten energy out 😉
You have also started martial arts (karate!). You and Tess are attending it together and it is so funny to watch you both. You are complete opposite in that she will watch the instructors so closely, worried about doing every single move correctly, and you’re just jumping right in no stress at all.
We are also finally weaning you from sucking your thumb at night. It’s something I put off because I just remember visiting the dr with Mama E and seeing you sucking your thumb in her womb. I know it’s a comfort for you, and I also know it’s tied to Doggie too. You hold Doggie and suck your thumb at night to fall asleep.
You are a mouth breather, so I also know you don’t suck your thumb all night. But as you lose your baby teeth and those adult teeth start to come in, I know it’s time to stop the bad habit!
We found these really neat thumb covers that you wear each night, and you have done SO WELL with them. They are meant for a 6-week use, but we’re just rolling with them as a permanent fixture in your nighttime routine for now. I know unless we take Doggie away that you’ll go right back to sucking your thumb without the covers, so our plan (after discussing with your dentist) is just to use them until they are no longer usable, and hopefully by then you’ll be fully weaned and no longer tempted.
You are very motivated to stop the thumb sucking as you are embarrassed by the thumb covers when you spend the night at Cam’s and do NOT want to wear them to Georgia Bible Camp next summer when you start spending the night. Great motivators! And you’ve done AWESOME with this tough transition!
You still sleep in your bed tent, though. It completely covers your bed and provides a bit of a shield for you in order to help you have self-control to stay in the bed. We recently added a light system with a timer that helps you transition – red means “stay in bed,” yellow means “get ready for school/play in room if it’s the weekend,” and green means “come downstairs for the day.”
It’s working very well! We are learning together about tools and techniques to best help you, and I can see timers being a big asset to your daily life even in adulthood. I really strive to parent with intention and I often feel like an “old dog learning new tricks” as we navigate this world of ADHD together!
More than anything else though, my number one top priority as your mom is for you to know Jesus. When I think about my parenting a big area that I think I “get” now more than I did as a new mom is just how THAT is what matters MOST.
Eternity is beyond forever. Beyond what our minds can even fathom.
More than how you do in school. More than day-to-day life. More than education or experiences. Loving Jesus and living your life for HIM is ALL that REALLY matters.
I pray that Daddy and I are setting that example for each of our children. I pray you are reading this from the perspective of a Christian man. I pray you know Jesus. His Word. Have a close relationship with Him and a deep appreciation for the opportunity His death gave you in order for you to have an eternal home with Him in Heaven.
And if you ever veer off that path? Know that you have us. Your family. And if we’re no longer on this earth? You have your church family too.
Never be too prideful to share your struggles with others. Satan loves secrets and uses them to keep us apart, keep us isolated. I promise that whatever struggles you face, others have faced them too. There is nothing too great to keep you away from Jesus. Continually choose to obey Him and follow Him and you will be blessed beyond measure.
I never take the blessing of YOU for granted. I always say you are my gift and I mean it. I cannot believe how incredibly blessed I am to get to be your mama.
You are a constant reminder of God’s goodness and His plan. He took the heartbreak of adoption and turned it into a beautiful story of love.
Every day with you is a new adventure. You spread joy just by being you! Your constant smile lights up every room. Your laughter is infectious. Your bright blue eyes melt every heart. Your excitement is contagious.
Happy Birthday to my big boy. I hope you have a happy 8th birthday and that only great things are to come in the year ahead! These have been the best years of my life and I always want you to know that my heart will forever be filled with unconditional love for you.
Love, Mommy
Here are past birthday letters to my darling boy:
- Wonderful birthday thoughts for Spear’s 7th birthday
- Heartfelt messages on Spear’s 6th birthday
- Best birthday wishes for my 5 year old
- Collection of birthday wishes for his 4th birthday
- Perfect birthday wish for his 3rd birthday
- Heartfelt sentiments on Spear’s 2nd birthday
- Fun messages of beautiful moments on his first birthday
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