This is a letter to my 14 year old son on his birthday from mom! Each year for each of our children Zach and I write a birthday letter. My hope and overall goal is to have a book made of all of their letters and gift it to them when they turn 18.
For Kye that’s only four years away! So crazy to think about. I feel like I’m still adjusting to life with a teen and before I know it I’ll have an adult son.
Dear Kye,
Happy 14th Birthday. This has been your first year of teenager life and I feel like the transition so far has been a smoother one than I’d anticipated.
Yes, you have your moody moments. Sure, I receive my fair share of eye-rolls and “Mom stop” reactions from you.
But you’re still very much YOU. Growing, changing, maturing. But still Kye.
You still love your mama, look out for your siblings and look up to your dad. You still aim to do your personal best and strive to be a light through God’s Word.
You are still a wonderful friend. Loyal. With a tender heart for others. Patient with your little brother. Willing to go outside of your comfort zone to do the right thing. Open to learning any important lesson that life may bring.
You still have your silly moments. Those times when you have a true laugh and that handsome smile that makes my mommy heart so full.
This has been such a neat year in your life. It is so interesting how you turn 13 and it’s literally like BAM you physically have had so many changes!
Yes, I will admit it. You are officially taller than I am. You’re currently going through a massive growth spurt and I’m sure the next couple of years are going to be filled with a lot of orders for new pants!
Big Papa has dubbed you the nickname “High Pockets” and it’s fitting – you are quickly becoming ALL LEGS!
When you were little it was ALWAYS you and me. You and I have so much in common in the way we think and communicate that we were just naturally very close.
While we continue to share our deep conversations and long talks (I’m praying those never end!) you have really started to gravitate more and more towards Daddy as you’ve gotten older.
It was really important to me to take a mother-son trip when you turned 13. I wanted to make memories together just-us as I know you and Daddy will probably have many father-son trips in the future (much like I’m sure I’ll have plenty with the girls!).
We went to New Orleans together and it was so fun getting to walk the streets together, try gator bites, walk through the WW2 museum, go bowling and watch Pearl Harbor. Memories that are just ours!
We also had the chance for a little mother-son time at Disney which I loved! I haven’t seen you SO happy at Disney since you were little. You had a BLAST showing Asher around on his first visit and loved being with so many friends.
I will never forget the ferry ride back to the parking lot from Magic Kingdom at 1 am. You had that “Disney magic” vibe. You were living it UP and having the best time ever.
I’m pretty sure that day will go down as one of your favorite Disney days of all time and I’m so glad I was there to experience it with you.
Middle school has been a mix of wonderful and tough for you. I love that you have been so open to try new things and that you’ve been able to say NO when something is no longer a good fit for you.
Archery was a great sport. I’m thankful for the friendships you made and for how it helped you to work through some of that natural perfectionist personality traits that can often frustrate you.
You tend to be hard on yourself and archery helped in that it was such an individual sport and you had to be able to shake off a bad shot to just keep shooting through the round.
I am so proud of you for your decision not to continue with archery into 8th grade. I know it wasn’t an easy choice but you were confident in that decision.
And by saying no to archery it opened you up to try something new this school year – tennis!
Tennis has been my favorite sport to watch. I love the beautiful weather. Being outside. The sound of the ball hitting the court. And I love getting to watch YOU play it!
I have many favorite things about my children and one of my favorite things about you is how awesomely well-rounded you are. I LOVE that you have tried so many different sports.
I love that you went for it with tennis and that you made the middle school team (even having never played before) and I love that you give it your all each time you’re on the court.
I also love that I have no clue what the future may hold with your activities. I love that you enjoy dabbling in so many different things and it’ll be fun to see what you choose next!
Anything you do you want to do your best at it. Even if it’s just family board games. You do NOT like to lose and you do NOT like when anything comes down to luck.
You tend to be very hard on yourself when you don’t win or aren’t the best or don’t have the results you expect to have. It’s been a life-long struggle for you and my goal as your mom is to help give you tools to work through those moments.
You have come SO far in this area. I remember when you were little and you’d draw a picture and if you made one little mistake you’d rip the whole thing up and start over.
With age and maturity you continue to get more flexible, a little more forgiving of yourself, and take things a little less seriously. I know that’s not something you can just snap your fingers and stop caring about but I’m proud of you that you want to work through it and continue to grow in this area.
I think the biggest thing you’ll take away from your middle school experience has been being “Kye the News Guy.” I am forever grateful to Mr Johnson, your technology teacher, and how he saw that spark in you and helped to light it.
Being Kye the News Guy has given you so much confidence and an identity. Everyone knows you and you love having something you do so well that also brings others joy!
Middle School has also had it’s tougher moments. Our change to our new church has been wonderful but has taken time, especially for you, to get fully adjusted and comfortable. Leaving kids you grew up with to then become part of a group who have been together their whole lives is hard!
School tends to feel both lonely and stressful for you. Your overachieving personality is a breeding ground for stress. You tend to over-fill your plate (you get it from your mama!) and have a hard time deciding what you really want to do so end up over-committing.
Often you come home from school needing a lot of decompression time. You’re overworked and exhausted. 8th grade has been the worst due to one particular teacher.
I hate that you’re the type of kid who should LOVE school and instead have this teacher who is making it a truly miserable experience for you. It breaks my heart!
Being a Christian can also mean, at times, feeling alone. I am so proud that you never compromise your ethics or morals in order to fit in. I will never forget that time at the neighborhood playground where a group of boys were looking at something inappropriate and they told you that you’re “Clean Kye” and that you wouldn’t want to see what they were looking at. So you didn’t look!
There is nothing that makes us prouder as parents than being able to have that full trust with you and that you don’t “do right” out of fear of getting in trouble, you do it because of your convictions and your personal relationship with God and the knowledge of His Word.
It’s such a blessing that you have your best friend in Colt and that the two of you can lean on each other and know that you’re never alone. I am also so thankful for your friendship with Evan. You may not have a TON of close friendships but you have really great quality friends who are in line with what is most important and it’s a true gift!
I know it was really a bummer that school shut down during the end of your 5th grade year and that you had to miss out on so many of the fun 5th grader experiences. I hope that the end of your 8th grade year provides you with lots of fun moments and memories and opportunities to just be a kid enjoying school life!
It’s really awesome that here I sit with a teenage son and my main focus in parenting you is that I want you to relax and chill out and have fun more often.
That is a testament to that trust you have built with us! We DO trust you so much that we aren’t sitting around worried about the choices you make and therefore are able to better see what needs you have and try to meet those in order to best parent you during this important time in your life.
I hate seeing you so stressed and worry about your future as an adult if you continue on this stress-filled path. Life keeps going so fast and it’s so easy to get wrapped up in it and to then live a life overwhelmed and overworked.
I’m being really intentional to figure out how to change that stressful course you’re on and I’m in a lot of prayer and consideration in how to best navigate your future as you prepare for high school and beyond!
Speaking on the trust we have with you, you had another big milestone this year when we gave you your first phone. Of course we have all the parental controls in place but you’ve done an incredible job with this responsibility. We haven’t had a single issue yet!
I know there will be times when you disappoint us, when that trust may get damaged. Again, you are not perfect! We don’t expect perfection and we are trying to raise you to stop expecting it of yourself too.
I know though that you know when those moments happen that both Daddy and I are here for you. I love that you feel comfortable talking to me and sharing your heart. I love that you know you can share things with me as they come up that you may be ashamed of or embarrassed about.
I pray that you never lose that with me! That you know I’m always, always here for you for ANYTHING. I always try to parent through a funnel of Jesus and love. I never want you to walk away from one of our talks feeling judged or alone.
The teenage years in my own life were often lonely and I’m so honored to get to be a safe space for you now and for the rest of my life.
I am always proud of you and here for you!
Something that we’ve started doing this year as a family is “quality time.” This means that every 6ish weeks I get one hour of time with just you and I! I am hoping that this time together will help us develop new hobbies that we can share.
I also love that this new addition to our routine is allowing you time with each of your siblings. There is a real realization having a teenage son – a countdown has started to a time in the not-so-distant future where you will no longer live with us.
While I simply cannot fathom that happening, one day, it will. And when it does I want to make sure I’ve done my job as a mom to ensure my bond with you continues to remain close as well as the bonds with your siblings.
I pray they are among your best friends in adulthood and that the four of you will always have each other (along with the spouses you will each bring to our crew!).
The building process of our new home has made for a pretty intense time around here lately and I’m both eager to get settled as well as sad to let go of the home where you grew up.
I know our current home will forever be your childhood home. I know change is hard work and that you are not excited about having to leave the home in which you have so many memories and have loved so much for such a long time.
I know we’ll get through the big moments together and that our new home will be filled with many fun memories and will feel like home before you know it!
I’m excited for you to get to finish out your middle school career and cannot wait to see what great things God has in store for my sweet boy during his high school experience next year and beyond!
I hope you continue to enjoy public speaking (I can totally see this being a career path for you in some way!), and that you make new friends who align with your focus on doing the right thing in all situations.
Who knows, this next chapter could even include meeting your future wife!
I am forever proud and honored to be your mom. I love YOU. For exactly who YOU are and exactly AS you are. And nothing will ever, ever change that!
Happy Birthday to my forever little boy but favorite young man!
I love you,
Mommy
I made this reel in honor of your fourteenth birthday and I don’t know that I’ve cried this much in awhile. Being a bit sentimental is part of my job as your mom.
Tess mayyyy have cried even more than I did though (pretty sure that is the job of a little sister too right?).
Here are all the heartfelt letters I’ve written Kye. Can’t believe there are now fourteen birthday letters to my baby boy – covering a little bit of all the wonderful little moments of his life so far 🙂
