A letter to my son on his 12th birthday from Mom
When you were little and I’d think ahead to the future I’d always feel a twinge of sadness and dread. I couldn’t fathom you getting older. Couldn’t imagine your little baby-fat hands maturing. You being just an inch or two shy of my height. Adult teeth. The beginnings of body hair. A skincare regimen. The signs of being on the brink of teenage life.
But here we are. 12. The last year of childhood for you. And, yes, it tugs at my mama heart a bit, but truly? It’s a transition of joy more than sadness. Of excitement more than dread. Of eagerness more than longing.
I never thought I’d be cool with being a “teen mom” but I am. I’m here for it and am excited to experience it with you!
You and I have always had our special bond and connection and I am so thankful that I don’t foresee any change in that anytime soon. In fact I’m already praying that your future wife sees me and our bond as an asset and not an annoyance 😉 Hopefully I can tread that line smoothly!
I love our talks. Our nightly chats. Our car ride discussions. You know you can talk to me about ANYTHING and it means the world to me that YOU DO. I love that you aren’t embarrassed or nervous to ask me anything and it’s never awkward or uncomfortable for either of us, no matter what the topic.
I do my best to be available. To give you the opportunity to share your heart and to know I’m a safe space but to also never nag you or force things out of you either. Our connection is easy and natural and those moments when you choose to open up are always ones I cherish so much.
You have always made me proud but the older you get the more reasons I have to be proud of you and who you are. I trust you fully and will continue to do so until I have reasons not to. I know you value that trust Daddy and I have in you and that you take it very seriously.
You have such a strong moral compass and personal values. You choose to do right. And when in doubt? You ASK. You don’t just do something and ask for forgiveness later, you like that assurance that what you think is the right choice in fact IS the right choice and it makes being your parent so easy because we KNOW we can trust you no matter the situation. As you get older and have more freedoms this quality will allow you to enjoy more independence because we know you’ll ask us whenever any situation may cause you to pause and contemplate!
As you continue to get older you bond closer and closer with Daddy and in many ways further away from me. We don’t have a lot of things in common that we enjoy doing. You and Daddy love rollercoasters and thrill rides. Eating big meals. Playing video games. And I LOVE that. Just as much as I want you and I to share a strong bond, I equally want that for you and Daddy.
We find our moments to connect. Snowcones and date nights. Bedtime talks. Amazing Race and Survivor. I know you’ll be my first baby that I’ll have to let go of in many ways and it’s a blessing to me to be able to let you go in little moments rather than in leaps when you reach adulthood.
Even as you begin to embrace independence I know you know you have me in your corner always there rooting for you and loving you and that our bond doesn’t require entertainment or busy-ness. I am your mama. You are my son. That is enough!
I know this last year was tough in many ways. It breaks my heart that you missed so much of your 5th grade year due to the pandemic and I know that the changes in the world have impacted your life the most out of all of our kids. I pray as things return to normal that you’ll be able to revert back to normalcy too and that your life won’t be permanently altered due to the craziness of 2020.
You’ve done so well rolling with things as they’ve come and have adapted so beautifully to life in middle school. You have found YOUR PLACE and nothing makes me happier than to see you SHINE. Elementary school wasn’t your jam. You often felt frustrated with your peers and the ways in which the boys acted – in their silliness and attempts to be cool.
But in middle school, so far, you’ve found your people. Archery has been awesome in connecting you to friends more like you with shared interests and values. You’ve found a sport you LOVE which makes Mommy and Daddy SO happy to see you enjoy it so much! You’ve also really found your inner confidence with the morning announcements and I LOVE it.
I’ve always known you’re super awesome and I’m so glad to see you let that side of you shine and for you to embrace the unique qualities that make you the incredible person YOU are! Own it and embrace it and be unapologeticly who God designed you to be! It’s my mission to firmly plant that truth within you as I know it’ll help guide you through the upcoming teen years if you just embrace and love yourself and be PROUD of who you are. Because, my sweet boy, you are AMAZING.
Our hunt for a new home church has been another challenge thrown your way and I struggled so much seeing you hurt. We cried together over leaving our prior church home. You “get it” in a way the others don’t and your struggle with the decision just further proves how much you’re growing up. I’ve been so incredibly proud of how you’ve navigated these waters and so much of our decision to find a new church home IS FOR YOU and I know you understand that and see the bigger purpose.
I’ve been so proud of how you’ve gotten outside of your comfort zone and gotten to know other kids when we’ve visited churches and love that strong desire you have to firmly plant roots in our new congregation and with our new church family. YOU value that relationship and I know someday you’ll be sure to lead your family in the Lord and THAT is the most important thing I could ever hope for as your mama. You’ll be such an incredible husband and father and most importantly you’re an incredible son of our ultimate Father. You make HIM proud for all that you are!
I am so blessed to be your mama. I know His love for me when I look at my babies and I just could pinch myself to really believe that I am THIS fortunate. You are everything a mama could ever wish for and I am so honored to get to be the one to raise you.
I know the road won’t always be easy. You’ll be tested and tried and sometimes you won’t make that right choice. But my love is unwavering and unending and will never, ever be broken. I promise you my son. I am your mom and I love you unconditionally. I may have times where you disappoint me but I will never disappoint you or let you down. No. Matter. What. I love you so so much and ALWAYS will. Always.
Happy Birthday my Candler Kye!
You can read my past birthday letters here: