An open letter to my daughter on her 13th birthday. Each year, I write a birthday letter to each of my children as a way to look back on the year behind us as well as look forward to the year ahead. I love looking through each of our photos together from the year – it’s fun to see how much they’ve changed in such a short time.
This is a birthday message to my daughter on her 13th birthday from her mom!
Dear Britt,
Today you are thirteen. An official teenager. Goodbye to the days of childhood and hello to the exciting adventure of navigating the teen years!
It is so funny that on the day of your twelfth birthday, you officially surpassed me in height. Now at 13? You are WELL beyond me! A funny memory from this year was when you, Kye and I went to Lowe’s and someone asked if the three of us were skipping school together. A perk of kids taller than you as a mom is that I guess it makes me look younger 😉 I’ll take it!
As a mom, we’re entering the stage of parenting that everyone always complains the most about. Everyone always says, “Just wait till the teenage years!” But they are all wrong.
So far? (and I don’t think I’m jinxing myself by saying this) Having a teen daughter IS SO MUCH FUN!
I love love love this stage of parenting you! I love our talks. I love that we can have REAL and deep conversations. I love that we can learn and grow from each other. I love that we can go and do, and that literally anything we do is more fun just because we’re doing it together.
I never had this kind of relationship with my own mom, which makes it all the more special for me. I cherish it and appreciate it and never take a moment with you for granted.
You ask such good questions and also give the best advice. I love that our differences complement each other so beautifully, and I think it’s also what makes you such an awesome best friend and big sister to Tess. I am so blessed that I get to spend every single day with you!
You have entered the shopping is fun stage, and I’m here for it! It is tough to shop with you because everything looks so good on you that I want to buy it all. My whole parenting motto of kids don’t get anything until holidays has sort of flown out the window because when we are in a store, and you love a top or item for an outfit, how can I say no?
It is also extra fun now that you’re in adult sizing. Kids’ sizes are just so limited so we’re able to truly shop together. Dressing room moments, your thoughts on the clothes I try on, making the tough decisions on what to buy…it’s all these sorts of moments that I just love so much.
Your current favorite is Aerie, and I love it too. So comfortable! We’re always saying, “That is so cute!” You also have to be sure to point out when you think something is cute but isn’t your style, because you have learned I’m the queen of sneaking back and buying things for you as gifts. If you say you like it, there is a good chance it’ll be under the tree on Christmas morning haha.
I know you’ll very likely reach a point in the coming years along this teenager journey where you don’t think I’m as cool as you do now (duh, I’ll always be cool on some level, right?). Currently, you love that we can wear the same clothes and share things, and love to shop my closet.
It is the ultimate compliment, and I love that we’re at the stage now where we can ask each other for advice or just that confirmation that an outfit looks cute together or our hair looks okay in the back 😉
An important element from my perspective in parenting a daughter is to never discuss any flaws. In myself. In you. In others. I have always been mindful not to complain about my looks around you girls and I think it has paid off in a big way.
You are at that stage of life where you’ve begun noticing the details of YOU. The things that make you different from others. A little more concerned about what others may be thinking. A little more critical of certain aspects of your uniqueness.
But I love that those little things are just that, little. You have such wonderful confidence in yourself. Who you are. What you look like.
This year was a Leap Year and we made family goals for what we want to be like at the next Leap Year in four years…and you’re goal? To still not be wearing makeup.
I’m a get-ready-every-day-kinda-girlie, and I’ve never said you’re not allowed to wear makeup. I’ve just said you don’t need it. And it’s true – you don’t! But you also have ZERO interest in wearing it. And that is SO awesome to me.
It’s very likely that if you’re reading this at age 18, you’re probably wearing makeup at this point. And that’s FINE! I’m hoping to instill in my girls that you’re beautiful as you are. No makeup needed. And when you do choose to wear it, you view it as a way to help highlight your naturally beautiful features, not hide “flaws.”
I have this vivid memory of you as a little girl running into my bedroom and staring at yourself in the mirror. You were smiling and twirling and saying how pretty you looked.
I remember in that exact moment praying that you would always look in the mirror and have your first thought be “I’m so pretty.” And maybe you need that reminder now – you’re beautiful Britt. Inside and outside.
Don’t let anyone…a boy…” friends”…social media…peers…ANYONE make you doubt your beauty, including yourself! We are often our own worst critics. As women, it seems like that voice in our heads never stops pointing out every little minor flaw. So if you’re reading this and struggling, rewire that clever brain of yours to focus on your natural beauty!
Along with your confidence, I have seen so much growth in your view of the world. You have been a more pessimistic thinker. Often struggling with seeing that glass half empty or playing the comparison game and focusing on areas in which something wasn’t “fair.”
While you are still very much about fairness, it is an across-the-board thing. You want to make sure everything is fair for everyone. We are working on remembering that not only is fairness across the board not possible, but it’s not even a good thing! When things are “fair” in one way, they are often unfair in others. By trying to create fairness, we often create more issues.
You have also grown SO much in your worldview. You focus on the good. On the positive. On putting others before self. These inner things are so hard to work on. The things that no one else sees. But you’re doing it!
Your growth in your faith has been so huge these last couple of years. You were the one who KNEW when we first set foot in our now home church that it was THE ONE. I remember you telling Daddy he didn’t need to pray about finding a new church anymore because we’d found it!
You love our church and miss it when we’re away on trips. Even though you don’t have anyone your own age! You just love the lessons Mr Drew shares. You love the “vibe” and the connection we share as a church family.
You love God. You “get it” on a level that I know many adults don’t. You truly strive each day to grow closer to Him through His Word and through the evaluation of your life and ways you can “level up.”
While you understand that we’ll never achieve perfection, you also understand that growth can happen simultaneously with contentment. You have this incredible blend of confidence in who you are while equally working to become an even better version of that self! You are a true inspiration!!!
The older you get, the more glimmers of that future friendship for the two of us I’m able to see. We just have so much fun together! I love that we just understand each other so well. It’s always EASY.
I don’t have to worry if you’re down to do something. Or if you’re having fun while we’re doing it. You’re always in and always going to be laughing alongside me in whatever journey may lie ahead of us.
You love your family deeply, and your favorite thing is when we are ALL together.
Homeschooling has been such a wonderful opportunity for more one-on-one time with you and me, but also with you and Kye. I was a bit nervous about how things would go with Tess still in school, but it hasn’t changed your closeness with her one bit. The older Spear gets, the more you’re connecting with him as well!
And now I’m a little nervous about how the dynamic of homeschooling will change when Tess comes home. I’m sure we’ll figure it out and that it’ll be a blessing having her with us each day, too, but I am very thankful for these first couple of years of the homeschool process that it’s just been you and Kye.
The older you get, the more you focus on girl time, and it’s easy to grow apart from a teenage brother. This time together has been so precious and so wonderful for the two of you!
Another wonderful thing about homeschooling with you has been the gift of remaining a sweet child a little longer. While most girls your age are shopping for skincare at Ulta you’re asking for an American Girl Doll from Santa.
You still look forward to your younger siblings coming home from school so you can play with them. Make-believe games on the trampoline, on-going storylines in the pool, blasting music and dancing in the bathroom. It’s a preciousness that I’m thankful you’ve been able to hold onto!
Along with being so inspired by your faith, beauty, personal growth, and intellect (hello, you’re on track to finish both 7th and 8th grade in ONE school year this year!), I also admire the way you use your body. You love physical activity and aren’t afraid to work hard and sweat.
You’re always complaining that Daddy doesn’t have you do enough of the physical labor around the house. You want him to ask you first instead of Kye, and you are always out to prove that girls are strong, too. I’ve always been the girl GLADLY letting the boys do the hard work and happy to sit on the sidelines. But not you!
We have started working out together at the YMCA, while Tess has swim and Spear plays in the play area and I love that we can learn new things together and that you challenge me to push myself in new ways.
When volleyball season finished up, you decided to try flag football, and you have absolutely LOVED it. You have decided it’s your sport and that you are putting the volleyball days behind you.
It has been so fun for us all, but especially Daddy, getting to watch you excel at the sport he loved so much. You take it seriously, and he has given you workouts and things to do, and you’re all about it!
You want to be the best you can be on the field, and I can’t wait to watch you develop and excel in this area.
We talk a lot about birth order, and you really enjoy pointing out traits that fit for each of your siblings as well as yourself. As both a younger sibling and an older sibling, you’re a middle child, and you’re proud of it! Even though we have four kids I do think you “perform” as a true middle child in a lot of ways. I think a lot of your physical drive comes from that middle child desire to prove you’re just as (fill in the blank here) as your older brother!
I have loved all of our fun trips this year. Of course, one of my favorite things is that we were able to go to Disney several times. I love our full family trips, but there is something so special about our trip just the three of us girls! We always have the best time, and this year you and I even got to sneak away just the two of us.
I think we’ll both never forget my dramatic exit from the Peter Pan ride, haha. Your sense of humor is so infectious, and I love that we can laugh about the same things together.
I also loved getting to watch the drone show with you at Disney Springs, and just having that one-on-one memory-making opportunity was such a treat.
Our family trip to Mexico (your first time leaving the country!) was awesome. It was really evident on that trip just how much closer you and Kye have become through homeschooling. Y’all LOVED the freedom of going and meeting new friends and hanging out around the resort together.
We went to Savannah in honor of my and Daddy’s 40th birthdays, and this was an especially special full family trip. We’ve all experienced so much growth over the last couple of years, and we’re truly enjoying being together in such a new, positive way. The memory-making is extra fun now, and I’m so thankful we get to have these sorts of moments together.
In so many ways, we are very different, but you are a set-your-mind-to-something type of person, like I am. Right now, you are very set on going to cosmetology school and doing hair, and I love your dedication to learning and growing in this skill.
You take a class each Monday with a real cosmetologist and love practicing with Tess, your built-in hair model. I love that the why behind this career goal is that you’ll be able to be home with your babies.
Being a mom is THE best. And I am so thankful that the Lord blessed me with the gift to stay home with my babies. I’m even more grateful that you see it as a blessing and want to do the same with your own children someday.
I am proud that you are considering that goal and are invested in learning a skill that you can use to bring in income for your family in a flexible way. Your dream is to go to the Disney College Program after high school and then open your own salon and maybe even just cut hair for friends and family out of your home.
You also have the goal to live on our property. It is so precious to me to hear you talk about how important it is for your children to be able to run over to our house during their childhoods. You’ve heard Daddy talk about how much he loved running to Big Daddy’s and Little Mama’s, and you want that same thing.
God and Family. You’ve got your priorities straight, girl!
Of course, no one knows what the future holds, and I am also trying to encourage you to live life with a bit more of an open hand than I once did. SO many blessings have come from changing plans (look at us adopting Spear…and moving…and homeschooling…none were part of my “plan”!).
It’s okay to change course. It’s GOOD to LET GOD LEAD. We don’t have all the answers, and we’ll never be able to figure everything out on our own. Pause. Pray. And trust Him!
Now that you’re 13, I’m sure more independence is to come ahead. I know with homeschooling we avoid a lot of the more typical teenage struggles, but I also know that some of them are inescapable.
Friendship drama. Broken hearts. Mistakes. Regrets. There will be some hard moments ahead. We’re all human, and part of the human experience on earth is to have tough times.
Through those tough times, we become stronger. We learn. We grow. We lean on God, and through Him we are strengthened.
And in those hard times, I’m here. Always. You often say that I’m your safe space, and I love that Daddy has become a place you feel safe to share with. God’s got you. We’ve got you.
Welcome, my baby girl, to the next stage of this grand adventure of life. There are so many good times to come in the upcoming teenage years. You have been my sweet girl throughout your childhood, and now you’re transitioning into an incredible young woman.
You are a magnet for others – people are naturally drawn to your inviting nature, kind smile, and quiet confidence. You are so smart, funny, and creative (I love hearing all the stories you make up and books you plan to write).
I am SO excited to watch this next chapter unfold. This life God blessed you with is a gift from Him. Keep living it to its fullest! Enjoy every second, make choices that align with His Word, and make ALLLLL the fun memories!
Happy Birthday Britt, I love you so much my forever sunshine girl!
Love, Mommy xoxoxo
One of the best things about this tradition is getting to look back over birthday letters from the past. You can read them all here:
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- An Open Letter to my Daughter on her 13th Birthday ~ Britt’s 13th Birthday Letter - April 24, 2026
- 11th Birthday Letter to Daughter from Mother {Tess’s 11th Bday Letter} - February 25, 2026
- What I’m Gifting My Kids: 2025 - November 29, 2025
