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I just got home from my last visit with Stacy. She is having her baby this Friday so today was our last chance to talk and for her to see me before she is gone on maternity leave.
Everything looks good. Baby’s heart rate was in the 130’s and sounded great which is a huge blessing.
When she checked me she said I’m now 3-4 cm dilated, 70% effaced, and -1 station. So for sure progress has been made since last week. (Last week I was 3 cm dilated, 60% effaced and -2 station). She said my bag of waters is detached from the wall which is a good sign too.
At this point I already had Kye so I obviously didn’t have an appointment. At this point I had also already had Britt. But I went into labor with her the day of this appointment. When I went to the appointment that morning I was 4 cm dilated, 90% effaced and -1 station. I went into labor a couple hours later.
Since I’ve never reached my due date before, I have no clue what happens. I wanted to talk as much as I could with Stacy about it all since I trust her more than anyone else. I will go back in on Friday (my due date) and have a non-stress test as well as an ultrasound. The ultrasound will be to check my fluid levels and make sure the placenta is not deteriorating. If I don’t go into labor on my own they will want to induce me next Friday when I’m 41 weeks. She said I could fight the induction as they don’t technically have to induce me until 42 weeks but that it’s safest to do it for the baby at 41. And I agree.
Never having been pregnant this long, I’ve never had the worries about the things that can go wrong with the BABY when you go past your due date. Placenta deterioration. The baby having it’s first poop while in the belly. Etc. I’m creeping up to that point in this where it’s safer for the baby to be out than to be in. And I hate feeling like this.
Stacy was WONDERFUL and so, so sweet. She said I’m (of course) the only one left on her list of people she wanted to get to deliver before having her baby. She said she could come in the middle of the night Thursday and deliver me then check herself in to have her baby! Haha! Of course I told her she needs to be focused on HER baby and HER family and not on me! If I have this baby before 5 today or during office hours tomorrow then I get Stacy. If not, I get the luck of the draw.
I have my appointment Friday with Teresa and am hoping she will agree to come in and deliver me when the time comes after that. Stacy and I did talk about the induction scenario next Friday and she said with me being as progressed as I am that I would FOR SURE do FINE being induced and it would all go well for me if that has to happen. I love that she’s a fellow Christian and that she helps remind me to remember it’s about God’s Plan!!!
I told her that I’m not really trying many tricks to get labor going. I know I post pics on instagram about stuff and make jokes and all about it but honestly, I’m not doing anything legit to try to get this baby to come. I just don’t want to feel contractions if they aren’t real ones and most of the tricks you do give you contractions but not necessarily labor. She agreed with that and said I can try tricks and that they won’t hurt but that they probably won’t help much either and I’m better off just trying to relax and not overly stress about everything.
I know I made progress this appointment. I know I heard a healthy heart beat. But I got in the car and just was so upset. And am still upset. I have had SO much peace this entire pregnancy about everything surrounding labor. And now everything is so crazy up in the air and I have no peace about it and have all these worries I’ve never had before and just feel overwhelmed and defeated. I do know that God has a plan and a purpose but it’s hard to see what that is when we don’t know what the future holds, ya know?
I used to be a very negative person but in recent years my spiritual growth has really allowed me to change into a “silver lining” type person instead. I seek the good and try to focus on that. So the GOOD in this is that I am 100% no longer fearful about the labor pains. Bring ’em on. I just want my baby in my arms and to KNOW he or she is healthy!!! I can’t stand thinking about the things that could go wrong and am just eager to have those concerns gone.
I left the appointment, had my cry in the car, then went to Walmart to get some essentials. We thought we’d have a baby by now and are out of everything in our pantries! I walked SO SLOWLY through those aisles. I just kept hoping my water would break…didn’t happen! Instead I stocked up on plenty of emotional eating food to get me through!
Thank you to everyone who has checked in with me and who has been praying for Leo and I. I really do appreciate it all so much and appreciate everyone putting up with me and the fact that pretty much all I want to talk about is labor 😉