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Thursday, May 14, 2009

My Motivation

We all know the saying, "You don't know what you have until it's gone." Well, I think whoever originally said this quote was talking about a woman's body before a baby vs. after a baby!!! I never really considered myself thin. While I never had to work out or diet to keep up my body, I didn't consider it a body worth showing off. Now as I look at my current body I realize that the old body was hotttt. Haha! I envy myself! I wish I could have that body back dangit!!!

First, I want to let all the pregnant ladies know that the whole breastfeeding-will-take-the-weight-right-off thing is a myth. At least it has been for me. I gained 39 lb with my pregnancy and when I left the hospital I had dropped about 20, leaving me 19 to lose to be back to my pre-pregnancy weight. Well I weighed myself on Sunday the 3rd which was 2 months post partum and I still had 16 lb to lose to get to my pre-pregnancy weight! SIXTEEN which means in 8 weeks of breastfeeding I'd only lost THREE pounds. THREE!!!!

My plan with my baby weight was to just breastfeed and not diet until after Paris since Paris fell at 7 weeks post partum I thought that'd give my body plenty of time to adjust and then I wouldn't have to diet in Paris I'd just start when we got home. You know those tiny 3 lb I lost since the hospital? I lost all three while on the trip! We did so much walking plus I was pumping so much that it finally took off a few pounds!

While on the trip we came in contact with a lot of Aflac moms who offered me some advice! The lady next to me at Moulin Rouge said she did Weight Watchers and that is was awesome! I know it worked years ago for my mom and even my dad so I thought I'd look into it when I got home. We checked it out and they have a new online program where you don't have to go to meetings, you can track your points online, and easily look up what points things are worth. I signed up for it and I LOVE IT!!! You get to eat whatever you want just as long as you stay within your daily allotted points (which are based off your weight and how much you plan to lose). They even adjust the points for nursing mothers, which was important for me because I didn't want to do a diet that risked my milk supply (as if I have to worry about that at all!)

So far, I'm really enjoying it and seeing results on the scale. Since the 3rd I have lost 7.5 lb!!! NO joke! I'm only 8 away from my pre-pregnancy weight and 4 away from my goal! Pretty awesome right? Well...it's honestly not as exciting as I thought it would be! NONE of my clothes fit still! None! I am "usually" a size 4 and 6 but when I first got pregnant I bought some size 8s because I didn't want to invest in maternity pants and I still can't even button THOSE! I'm stuck, 10 weeks post partum, still in maternity pants (and lets remember I only have like one pair of jeans, capris, black, and khaki...very limiting). My shirt size? Always used to be a small or medium...now a large and extra large. NO JOKE. Is that not depressing?

It is so frustrating for me that the scale looks good but the body doesn't match the numbers I see. After we got married and I went off my I'm-gonna-be-ultra-thin-for-my-wedding diet I gained the most weight I'd ever gained up to that point of my life. I actually weighed what I do now back in March of 2008. But yet my clothes all still fit fine! Sure I may have had a little more tummy but I could still BUTTON them dangit!

I realize that the reason my stuff isn't fitting is because little Mr. Kye has been in my body moving everything around. I about lost it though when I went to buy a bathing suit the other day and realized that even size LARGE one pieces and tankinis looked awful. If anyone has ever seen me in a bathing suit it's common knowledge that I favor the skimpiest thing I can find (hello...the more skin you show the better tan you get) and now I'm stuck in a freaking tankini that SCREAMS "I'm somebody's mom!" YUCK.

It's super depressing especially for me because I've always been pretty confident in the looks department. I knew I've never been the most beautiful girl or the thinest or whatever but I never cared and always felt pretty good about how I looked. Now I don't even have that :(

I pray that maybe my body hasn't gotten the message that I'm nursing and one day I'll wake up and everything will look better! But I have a feeling that won't happen. Zach and I talked about it and I'm going to start doing crunches, and lots of them. While cardio may help some I really think I need everything to tighten up and the way to do that is crunches! We also talked about the fact that having a baby changes the body forever and that I may have to accept the fact that those size 4s may never fit again. My hips are wider now and I don't know if all the dieting in the WORLD will change that! If I can have a relatively flat tummy, no love handles, and look (and FEEL) good in a bikini again I can cope if I'm forever a size 6...or maybe even an 8. As long as they close!!! :)

I'm going to keep at this Weight Watchers thing and going to walk when I can and do tons of crunches and see what kind of results I get. I hope it's not this hard with every baby...doesn't it get easier? Since I'll have another kid running around won't the next baby weight fall off? I hope so! Isn't it just my luck that soooooo many women lost all their baby weight (and some women lost even more) just from breastfeeding alone and I've lost nothing from it? I did read that some women hold onto the fat because they are breastfeeding. I'm thinking that could be my situation because since I'm producing MORE milk than I need wouldn't it also make sense that I'm keeping more fat than I need too?

Going through old pictures really motivates me to look that good again! I've included a backwards timeline of my weight to remind me where I used to be and what I want to get back to!!!

The day Kye was born!
Early on in my pregnancy
A month before getting pregnant (I had JUST lost my happily married weight)
On our honeymoon
And every girl dreams of looking like she did on her wedding day!!!


Wedding Weekend...gah I was so thin I was actually down to a size 2 here so I know that unless I somehow go on The Biggest Loser that I'll never be that size again!
Look how cute and little my boobs are! I miss them soo much!!!
About a year before the wedding (so 2006)
In 2005...sure I was 20 years old...but I could look like this agian (minus the bad hair) right?

Anyone lost their baby weight and have some tips? I'm willing to do whatever it takes to look good again!!

5 comments:

  1. I know that this is so completely random and that you have no idea who I am, but I happened on your blog through Crissy's blog and I realized that you were in one of my parenting classes at SGMC! I think that I had my baby about a month before you, but it's been interesting to read your blog and see where Kye is. I've enjoyed reading it and it has helped me see that other moms are going through exactly what I am going through right now!

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  2. Hey, who said that "I" wanted to be reminded of how skinny my "pre-baby" body was???...thanks for posting that pic of me and you so that I could be reminded too!!!! lol, j/k! It's okay, really, it was kinda nice to see it ;) Since this is my last time being pregnant, I plan to actually try to lose this baby weight, with Stevie I knew that I was just going to be getting pregnant again ASAP, so what was the point in getting my nice body back only to lose it again??? I'll let you know if it gets any easier with baby #2 since you are chasing baby #1 around everywhere. So far I only have like 5 lbs left to gain b4 I am the same amount gained with this pregnancy than my first AND I STILL HAVE LIKE 6 1/2 MORE WEEKS LEFT!!!! I don't think I will be making that goal to stay at the same weight gain mark ;)
    It is funny b/c the other day the other members in my house were all talking about how happy they were that Neela was coming soon because then EVERYONE could lose some weight b/c I would quit making brownies, cakes, etc. every single night ;) Let's hope that I ACTUALLY stop that once she comes!!

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  3. Emily, you look great! Every time I look at your pictures I think of how great and thin you look. I think every new mom feels this way. I lost all of my weight with Damian pretty fast, but it never looked the same again. I would look at our honeymoon pictures and want my old body back, but it is well worth it. I also know a bunch of moms that have lost a ton of weight as soon as they stopped nursing. Pounds fell off once they stopped. He is only two months old, so don't be so hard on yourself. You really do look BEAUTIFUL!

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  4. I agree so much with the previous poster. You are beautiful!! I just met you at church this morning and anyway I enjoy reading your blog. You have an amusing way of writing about these things. They are things we all think but you are so brave to share them. I don't know that I can share info about the weight loss but please be careful trying to diet too much too soon. It will cause your milk to change and not be as filling for little man. Your body will conform back to what it was somewhat but the hips and rib cage are forever stretched! I am a mom to four so all these issues I can relate. You are doing a great job and your baby seems so happy. He is always smiling!! Take care of yourself and stay the beautiful person you are!!

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  5. Em I think u r sooo beautiful and seriously the day u had Kye was one of the best pics of u which is sooo sweet =) And my sis agrees lol

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Thank you for sharing your thoughts! Reading your comments makes my day!



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