Every year we recognize the anniversary of the day that Spear’s adoption was finalized. I understand that many people, both in and outside of the adoption community, find Gotcha Day to be offensive…and I understand the reasoning behind that perspective.
I have my own feelings and perspective regarding Gotcha Day (which I share in more detail here), but to sum it up – yes, we set aside a portion of time on the day our adoption journey came to an end to honor Spear’s story and to allow for recognition of his journey into our family and appreciation for his birth family.
I like having a set time to reflect as well as to ask if the kids have any questions, etc. Of course we talk about adoption things at other times as well but I think it’s valuable to have a day to initiate those conversations too!
This year it was EASY to decide how to celebrate as a family…for Spear’s 3rd birthday I ran him by the local John Deere store and he was ADORABLE and precious and LOVED it and I thought it’d be a fun thing to experience as a whole family. He was SO PUMPED.
He was SO excited to give the fam the tour and explained all the different tractor parts and what they do. The girls were so sweet and jumped right into the excitement with him. They love their baby!
Spear is ALL about knowing how things work. On Disney rides he’s always more interested in watching the mechanism of the ride more than he is the actual attraction and with our tractor outing he wanted to see all the parts and pieces.
He is also super funny about the girls and it’s interesting to sit back and watch. He is VERY much so the “play hard to get” kinda guy. He sat and sat with Britt on the tractor but when Tess asked to sit with him he then only wanted to stand. She loves him SO MUCH that it’s TOO much and he backs away from it and often favors Britt because Britt is less interested.
An employee came out and brought us all hats!!! How sweet was that?!?! And also perfect timing as Spear had just recently cut his own hair soooo he’d be needing hats for awhile 😉
We try to always wear our adoption shirts too on the special day (I need to order more though because Kye has outgrown them all!).
I adore this picture and am so thankful to Ag-Pro for making our little family time extra special!
After our tractor browsing we headed to Zaxby’s for dinner because it was one of the only quick restaurant options open for indoor dining! We rocked our hats and I brought along Spear’s baby book and the Adoption Journey book I put together during our process.
We looked through all the pictures from that time, including all the ones I have of Mama E and Spear’s birth siblings. We shared stories and memories. The kids also each read out loud the letter they wrote to Spear when he was born.
My heart was so full and Spear was loving listening as well as dippppping in alllll the sauces 😉
He is old enough now to understand a bit more about his adoption story and I have talked to him several times about him being adopted (you can see more about that conversation and how we handle those discussions so far here)
Spear loves hearing “Miss E (he uses her first name)” stories at bedtime and he knows he was in her tummy and that she loves him so much and chose us to raise him and that Mommy and Daddy and “Miss E” were there when he entered the world and that we ALL love him so, so much.
I asked if he has any questions and the only one he asked was if Mama E has a tractor at her house 😉
Total side note but this family outing was a milestone moment with Kye too…he was MORTIFIED embarrassed about everything we did. Embarrassed that cars driving by could see us walking around the tractor lot, embarrassed that we were walking around and not buying a tractor, embarrassed that I brought the adoption and baby book in the restaurant. HELLO PRE-TEEN LIFE.
On some level I try really hard to be sensitive to his feelings but there are also times where I’m like “deal with it dude” and this was a get over it kinda moment 😉