Let’s talk about setting ground rules for “yes day” and our Yes Day 2019.
A few years ago we started having a “Yes Day” each summer.
What is “Yes Day” you ask?
I’m not sure if there is an official definition of Yes Day but I consider it a day where the kids get to make plans and decide what to do during that day.
They have more freedom than the typical day and their parents say “Yes” to the plans the kids decide.
How We Do “Yes Day”
When people hear that we have Yes Day they are often very surprised.
I’m a pretty hardcore mom and others are shocked that I’d allow the kids to be in the drivers seat for planning their day.
Yes, they get to PLAN Yes Day. But it doesn’t mean that all rules go out the window.
It doesn’t mean that I don’t have “veto” power as the parent.
Our Ground Rules for “Yes Day”
I have very clear rules regarding Yes Day for my children.
Yes Day is a SPECIAL, FUN day. It’s a privilege. A gift from me to my kids.
It is not something that is required of me to allow of them. It is not a right of theirs.
Deciding on the Date
We always have our Yes Day during summertime on a date that MOMMY chooses.
I pick a day where we have nothing planned so the kids can have a blank canvas to work with in organizing their day.
Leading up to the day the kids come up with their plans for the day and we discuss them TOGETHER.
Working Together in Planning Yes Day
Yes Day isn’t a day where everyone does every little thing they want to do.
It’s a day that is well-planned in advance and organized.
The kids work together in making their plans.
They write out things they each want to do, to eat, to play and figure out a compromise for ways to make sure everyone gets to have items included that are important to them!
Each child knows they won’t get to do everything they want to do, so they learn to prioritize their favorite items in planning with their siblings.
Mommy Veto Power
In planning Yes Day I also explain to them that Mommy has VETO POWER.
They can plan the day, but their plans have to align with our regular schedule.
They can choose what they eat, but healthy options still have to be part of the meal plan.
I don’t care if they choose strawberries, grapes, watermelon or blueberries – as long as a fruit is on their plates.
They know that Mommy has the power to say NO when they make their plans and they have a goal in mind when mapping out their day – plan it so Mommy doesn’t have to say no.
Balancing the Amount of YES in Yes Day
I am present when my children make their plans for yes day and help guide them in their choices.
They know the non-negotiable Yes Day rules and know their limits.
They may watch a movie of their choosing – but it must be a movie that we’ve already watched as a family and has been “Mommy approved”
They may have a special treat for breakfast – but that means they have to have healthy things at the other meals of the day.
They can stay up late that night – but that means they will all be having nap time the following day.
I like to set them up for success in enjoying the day by letting them know upfront what boundaries and limits exist for it.
In order for it to be a day where Mommy says YES all day long – they need to choose things that they know Mommy will say “yes” to 😉
Our Yes Day for 2019
Our Yes Day this year fell on Thursday 13th.
Britt wrote out the plans with Kye and Tess in the car leading up to the day!
Daddy was sweet enough to pick up donuts the night prior so the kids could have their special breakfast of donuts and ice cream (If you’ve never tried it IT IS AMAZING).
The kids have been LOVING the summer reading program at our local library so they spent some time that morning writing out all their books they read to turn in the forms!
During Spear’s morning nap the big three wanted to watch movies and wanted to watch Tom and Jerry.
I’m not a HUGE fan of it but they watch it at school sometimes and we have some random dvd versions that apparently came from China so it was a generous “Yes” I didn’t mind giving!
After a bit of movie time they played board games together which was very sweet and they got along SO WELL.
Yes Day is a team effort and I think it really encourages them to ENJOY each other!
For lunch they had a picnic outside with their swimsuits on so they could quickly start swimming after eating!
We all had swim time with Spear included until nap time!
During naps they wanted to…shocker…have more screen time.
Can you tell I’m pretty limiting on the amount of screen time they have on a daily basis?
Limiting things like this allows for bonus time to be a special treat!
Kye played video games and the girls played games on their tablets together.
After naps Daddy happened to be home which worked out perfectly as he kept Spear so I could take the older three by the library to get more books on our way to the mall to play games at the Fun Factory before dinner!
We headed to the mall and the kids were SO disappointed when we got there and found out the Fun Factory was closed.
We let Zach know to go ahead and head up to the mall to meet us for dinner and just checked out the dining options at the mall (which are SLIM).
The girls found the Mickey items at Zales 😉 Diamonds and Disney are a great blend!
The kids all chose an option from the “food court” for dinner. The girls chose CFA (shocker) and Kye got a burger from a random restaurant.
For dessert we went to Menchie’s which is a Froyo place we’ve never tried before.
It was SO GOOD.
The kids all loved it and Zach said it’s his new fav local ice cream place!
We got home at bedtime but the kids had planned on night swimming which requires it to be DARK so they hung out a bit and waited for it to get dark enough to qualify for swimming at night.
I wanted to take part in the night swimming FUN and it was such a blast together!
I usually don’t swim-swim with the kids as I’m always handling Spear and helping him swim. So they LOVED having me in the water with them to play games and jump in together!
It was one of my favorite moments of the summer so far 🙂
Tess said “do we need sunscreen?”
It cracked us all up so we officially became TEAM NIGHT-SCREEN and yelled our team name every time we did group jumps together into the pool.
We also played Marco Polo which is legit HARD when you don’t cheat and peek!
The original plan for Yes Day was to end with a sibling sleepover but it was literally 9:45 when we got done with the night swimming – which is basically like midnight for my kids haha.
So Zach and I were both a solid NO on the sleepover.
The kids got ready for bed and when I went to tuck them in?
After our SUPER FUN DAY?
They. Were. COMPLAINING.
Britt was crying. Literally crying. Because she didn’t get to have a sleepover with Tess.
And Kye was complaining that the Fun Factory was closed.
And my first reaction? I felt BAD FOR THEM.
Then I got downstairs and Zach told me that they had been complaining to him about it and he told them they better not complain to Mommy since I’d been the one to put the work and effort into having the day happen.
I went from COOL MOM to HEATED MOM.
The next morning? It was ON.
We had a BIG TALK about appreciation and gratitude and how special things won’t be happening as often because they aren’t appreciating them.
And I’ve stuck to it.
I usually plan our summers FULL and I’ve stopped. We travel a lot and when we’re home? We are AT HOME.
And ya know what? It’s still been a great summer! They’ve still had fun. We’re still making great memories.
Every day doesn’t have to be some exciting adventure. And less is MORE. The less we do the MORE they appreciate the things we do!
The reality is that I prioritize making memories and having experiences with my kids year round. We do a LOT. We go a LOT. We travel a TON. I tend to spoil my kids in experiences and it’s important to find that balance in making sure they also appreciate it and don’t just expect it all too!
The Future of Yes Day
Will Yes Day happen again? Yes.
I think there are lots of benefits to it and I like that it’s a special day every summer.
But my goal? Is that next year the kids are truly appreciative of the day and the experiences they get to have! And of course, the Yes Day rules are not going anywhere.
Update: Our YES DAY 2020 went MUCH better and we had a truly fun family day where the kids chose to go to a friend’s house to swim, have a junky food breakfast, lots of screen time, night swimming with Mommy and, yup, a sibling sleepover!
In 2020 we ALL felt so many disappointments and let downs and it gave us ALL a new appreciation for the YES DAY experience. 2020 had a lot of tough moments but a lot of great lessons too and one of the big lessons was that we have ALL learned to be grateful and appreciative of the ability TO do things more. The kids had better attitudes and SO DID MAMA. We truly soaked up the day together and all went to bed with happy, full hearts.
My own personal growth in 2020 helped me to embrace the moments better and I’m excited to see what Yes Day 2021 will bring!
Have you done a “Yes Day” before with your kids? What were your “Yes Day” rules?
Frequently Asked Questions about “Yes Day”
When is National Yes Day?
Yes, “Yes Day” has become so popular that it has it’s own nationally recognized holiday! The national Yes Day is on December 19th. (Personal opinion but clearly a mom didn’t decide that national holiday as December is THE most busy time of year. I vote we move the official Yes Day to July who is with me?)
Is there a Yes Day Book?
The idea of Yes Day has been around for several years and a really fun children’s book called Yes Day (by Amy Krouse Rosenthal) can add to the fun in planning your own family Yes Day too and remind us all that life is about the little joys and pleasures and the quality time making memories together with our kids.
Is there a Yes Day Movie?
What brings families together more than a fun movie night? Now there is even a Yes Day movie on Netflix starring Jennifer Garner! This family-friendly movie is filled with excellent, if not often extreme, ideas for your own family Yes Day. It will inspire parents to bring back some of that joy from childhood and to be more spontaneous and just RELAX more with your kids! Be silly, make memories, take adventures – SAY YES. You can watch Yes Day the movie on Netflix now!
Ideas for Yes Day
Here are some quick and simple Yes Day Ideas for your family. Yes Day doesn’t have to be expensive and can be simple and just as much FUN:
|Watch a Family Movie||Visit a local playground|
|Have a fun “junk food” meal||Extra Screen Time|
|Visit the dollar store with $5 each to spend on anything!||Have a sibling sleepover|
|Visit a local arcade||Play a family board game|
|Go out to eat (pizza night anyone?)||Stay up extra late past bedtime|
|Go on an adventure to somewhere new||Meet up with friends for a playdate|
|Visit your local library||Anything outdoors at night: night swimming, night trampoline jumping|
|Kids pick out what EVERYONE wears||Kids give Mommy and Daddy a makeover|
|Build an epic fort||Create a fun craft (bonus points for saying yes to SLIME)|
|Family competition – water balloon fight!||Do some baking – let the kids take control|
|Visit a local theme park for the day||Get a special treat you normally say “no” to!|
1. The date of YES DAY is determined in advance and occurs one day a year (Summer is a GREAT time for YES DAY as the weather is nice and kids don't have school)
2. Siblings must come up with the Yes Day plans together and agree on the plans for the day (encourages kids to work together!)
3. Nothing can be illegal or permanent (no piercings or tattoos or puppies happening!)
3. Any purchases being made must be planned out in advance (we're not going to go broke here!)
4. Fun meals and junk food are fine, but healthy eating has to be in the mix during the day too (no one likes to have a stomach ache or to have to spend YES DAY on the toilet due to too much junk!)
5. Limit travel distances (no one need to go on a full on road trip in one day)
6. Parents may limit screen time allowances (it's also not fun for anyone to be glued to a screen for a full day).
7. May want to also put a cap on how late kids can stay up at night (or, like we do, have plans for the NEXT day to be a more relaxed day to allow for sleeping in and naps!)
8. Family Values Still Apply (movies need to be pre-approved for content, etc)
Veto Power: Mom and Dad have the power to veto ANY plans if needed! Even though it's a YES DAY, parents are still parents 😉
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