I had a tough time falling asleep last night because my mind kept wandering back to my dream the night before. I laid in bed just feeling Blitzen move and enjoyed putting my hand on the parts I could tell were him or her pushing against me. I tried to envision it being a little hand or foot that I was feeling and it was nice to think about connecting with my baby in a physical way. I didn’t have another nightmare, which I’m thankful for.
This morning was a rush as Kye had school. While I was getting ready I peed and when I wiped I saw a little pink on the toilet paper. Not bright red, not bloody. But enough to where it was real spotting. I wiped two more times and it showed up both times. I started crying right away just thinking about that dream and thinking something was wrong. I’m too far along for that to be normal right? I got on Google and then wish I hadn’t. I stopped reading it right away because anything I saw said at this point seeing any blood didn’t mean anything good. I’ve never had any spotting with either pregnancy other than right after an internal exam or right after intercourse. So I was nervous. I called Zach to tell him and he was worried but told me to keep him posted. Of COURSE, just like in my dream, he’s not here or able to be with me.
I peed like a million more times before taking Kye to school and never saw it again and there wasn’t any in my panties. Even on the way to school I stuck a napkin “down there” to check myself over and over. After I dropped him off I called Southern OB. My THIRD time in THREE weeks calling. I felt pretty embarrassed about it but I’m not taking any chances with this baby. I went on home and called Mom and Charlotte to tell them. The office called me back to talk to me about my symptoms then said they’d call me again after they spoke with a dr. I decided to rest so I got on the computer and watched some tv. When she called back she said I needed to come in as soon as I possibly could. Up until that point I felt like I was afraid only because the dream. Once she said I needed to come in, I got legitamently scared.
She made me an appointment for 2:00 but said she was going to see if anyone could see me sooner. Teresa, a midwife up there, was able to work me in so she called me back and told me to get up there in 20 min. I called Mom bawling and she said she’d come with me (thank GOD she lives here now right?!?!) and I called Mrs. Charlotte and she said she’d worry about getting Kye from school. I called Zach and he felt so, so guilty but was glad I had people to be there with me. I just kept seeing that dream over and over and thinking that it was all coming true.
When I got there they got me back pretty quickly and while in the waiting room I had the first person this pregnancy to ask how far along I am! Maybe it was because I was wearing a maternity shirt for the first time? But that was neat! All of my stats looked normal as far as blood pressure and such. I did notice a little spot of brown in my panties when I had to pee in the cup but no more actual spotting. It was all very nerve-racking because I’ve never had a visit up there that wasn’t a regularly scheduled appointment. The nurse took me back to the room and brought Mom back and told me I needed to take off my pants for the exam. Awesome.
Teresa came in and was very nice and thorough. She did an internal exam and showed me the brown blood she saw but she said she didn’t see any pink or red which was a good thing. She took some samples to send off and get tested to see if I have any infection. Then she told me that I’d be getting an ultrasound and a shot of progesterone just to make sure. She listened to the heart and it sounded good, in the 150s.
Once she left the room I started to get that “I’m-about-to-lose-it” feeling. Just thinking about that dream and hearing I needed an ultrasound made me panic. Plus I know progesterone is to help people keep their pregnancies and I don’t like thinking that I need any help in keeping my baby inside of me! I couldn’t get over how quickly everything happened. My appointment was at 10:10 and we were DONE by 11:30. Crazy fast. They got us back to the ultrasound room super quick. It wasn’t the usual tech I see but was actually a woman who lives in our neighborhood. She was really nice and I told her how important it was that I didn’t want to know the sex and that I didn’t want her to know either.
With my situation she said she’d most likely be seeing the sex because she had to do a very thorough ultrasound to try to distinguish what is causing me to bleed. But she only referred to Blitzen as “the baby” and did NOT put the sex in my chart. She said everything looked good – placenta and cervix looked great. The heart-rate was in the 140s. She commented on how ACTIVE Blitzen is. Amen to that 🙂 She did tell us it was okay to look and did some looks for us at the face. She even zoomed in close so we could see the lips and nose perfectly. He or she has some pretty full lips and it was so cool to see how much Blitzen has grown since the last ultrasound. Also during the ultrasound I felt a tender spot that hurt some when she’d roll over it so I told her and she said that Blitzen’s BUTT was pressing up against that spot! How funny! It made me feel TONS better about the times I have a little pain or tenderness because it was the same feeling and it was for sure just the baby pressing up against me 🙂 I hated that Zach wasn’t there with me. But I was honestly SO worried that I didn’t even enjoy getting to see the baby. I just tried to focus on not seeing the sex so I’m thankful that we’re going to be surprised because that kept me from overly worrying. She was so sweet to give me a picture to bring home – it’s just of the face looking towards us! Can you see the eyes, nose and mouth?
Becky, the tech, said she couldn’t see any cause for any bleeding and that everything looked good. She took lots of images and sent me back to see Teresa again. I ran into Stacy on the way and she looked concerned which was sweet. I, of course, wish I could have seen her but at the same time that would have REALLY reminded me of the dream!!! I’m still keeping my regular appointment with her this Thursday which will be good. I’m not about to miss a chance to see her when I have so few left.
Right when I saw Teresa she said that everything looked good, I just need to REALLY take it easy and they will call me with the results of the sample they took. She took me back to an exam room and a nurse came in to give me the progesterone shot. They give it in your butt! Yuck! SO glad Mom was there as I hate shots. It was pretty painful too and she said it’ll be sore for awhile.
When we left I decided to let Mrs. Charlotte still pick up Kye and he is at her house then I’m going to go there for dinner and get him tonight. This way I can rest all day. I think that I just over-did myself on Saturday. We threw a party for Rusty and Charlotte’s anniversary (post to come!) and I was on my feet ALL DAY busy and stressed. Not good for a pregnant girl! I’m also on the amoxicillian from my cold so I wonder if that could cause anything?
I have thought a lot about my priorities and that this baby has to be priority #1!!! I also do not want to not enjoy my quality time with Kye as I won’t be getting as much of it once Blitzen arrives and I know how important it is. So I’m not going to slack on any mommy duties but my third priority needs to be taking good enough care of myself to be able to attend and enjoy all my upcoming trips. St Augustine this weekend, dress shopping with Casey next weekend, Vegas the following weekend, Disney that following weekend, Hawaii in October. Life’s not slowing down for me and I need to take advantage of any down time I can. I HAVE to rest more. And like real resting. I have to stop doing so much myself. I have to ask for help (which I hate doing). I also have to say “no.” It’s hard for me to do but I’m doing too much and hurting someones feelings or feeling uncomfortable asking someone to help me is not worth putting this baby in jeopardy! I don’t like to make a big deal about stuff and get easily annoyed when other people make small things into a big deal. Today though I realized that this is a big deal. How many more signs from God do I need??? That pain I felt, the dream I had, and now today. He’s telling me something and I need to start listening!!!
Mom and I had a relaxing lunch at Zaxbay’s (and a guy walked by me and said to his friend “dang she’s pretty” which made me feel good haha!) and it was nice to enjoy a yummy meal together and talk to get my mind off things some. I’m home resting now and have seen a little brown spotting but I’m assuming that’s from the exam. I’ve also felt a little mild cramping but I’m thinking that’s from the shot, right? Poor Zach is having a TOUGH time not being here and I feel so bad for him. I texted him a picture of the ultrasound so he could see it and he said it looks like a girl to him 😉 I honestly was too worried to even think about stuff like that. We did get to see a hand too which was neat and Mom got to be there for an ultrasound which was great for her (I think she was too nervous to appreciate it fully too though!). I’m SO beyond thankful that everything is okay and I’d appreciate prayers as I continue through the rest of this pregnancy!!!
Update: Dr office just called and said the lab results came back fine – no infections or anything!