11th Birthday Letter to Daughter from Mother {Tess’s 11th Bday Letter}

This is an 11th birthday letter to daughter from mother – my annual heartfelt letter to my daughter, Tess, as she turns eleven.

Writing birthday letters for my children is a tradition I have kept since they were turning one, and I am excited to be able to gift them a book filled with each of these letters on their 18th birthdays.

My Precious Tess,

Happy Birthday! You are ELEVEN. My baby girl is saying hello to the tween years. Firmly in the double digits. These next two years are so tender. A time of saying goodbye to the little girl days and hello to the teen years ahead. Often feeling out of place. Too old in some ways, too young in others.

Being the third child, I think this is an area you’re comfortable with feeling. You have grown up often lumped in both categories. The “big kids” category and the “little kids” one as well. Sometimes it’s you with your older siblings doing activities, and sometimes it’s you with your younger sibling while the older two are doing teenage stuff.

As we enter the middle school stage of life, I think you’ll find yourself lumped more and more into the teen group rather than the little kid one. You are excited to join your older siblings at youth events and activities and take part in the middle school and high school youth group at church, as well as attend all the super fun teen trips and events.

I have some apprehension about our decision to have you join the older two with homeschooling this school year. You have ALWAYS loved school and have THRIVED in the school environment.

Last year, you rocked out in 5th grade, and there wasn’t a single day when you came home upset or wishing you didn’t have to go back the next day.

Visiting you in the classroom was like visiting a celebrity in action. Everyone (students and teachers alike!) would seek you out to get one of your famous hugs.

Unlike Britt’s 5th-grade experience, you didn’t have much friend drama. You enjoyed 5th grade. Had a sweet friend group (with one “frenemy” in the bunch, of course, there is always one).

I have been nervous that you’ll miss that social environment and miss the school friendships, the accolades from teachers and staff, and the way you are appreciated for your gifts and talents.

However, I remind myself that change is happening either way. You’ve had a FANTASTIC elementary school experience, but that is over. That chapter has closed. And we don’t know what traditional middle school would look like.

We can’t compare homeschooling vs public school because we literally will never know how that alternative would play out.

So I’m continuing to follow this path that I feel strongly has been led by the Lord for us to follow. The beauty of being a younger sibling is that we’re not entering into this homeschooling world as an unknown.

You’ve seen Kye and Britt thrive in the environment and have been excited to join them in their day-to-day school lives, too. For you, it’s not really a debate as to what to do. You have been happy to get to stay home and have been looking forward to it!

We are all excited to have you home with us, too! Having the older ones home during their teenage years is so special. With each passing day of the last year, the three of us grew closer in our bonds, having them home, and I loved watching each of them in their personal growth journeys.

I think homeschool will be a great opportunity for you to thrive as a young lady but to also get to spend more time with Kye and bond closer with him, as well as continue to remain BFFs with Britt.

Your bond with her is just so special. Daddy and I were talking the other day about how thankful I am for the relationship I share with you girls. I haven’t gotten to have the experience of a close mother-daughter bond in adulthood, and it’ll be so awesome for us all to experience that together.

But an even greater blessing is knowing that when the day comes that I go to meet the Lord, you and Britt will still have each other. Of course, I’m so thankful for the bonds all four of you share, but that sister bond is something so rare and will continue to be such a lifelong gift for you both. I’m praying that you both marry men who become fast friends too 😉

Speaking of the future, you have always been very set on wanting to be a mom. You tell people “just a mom,” but we know motherhood is much more than “just.” You will be an amazing mother!

You will also be an amazing wife. I pray you find someone who appreciates you and never takes your kind spirit for granted or breaks your giving, loving heart.

You had your first “relationship” experience, and I don’t regret allowing you to “date” (you didn’t go anywhere!). You learned a LOT from this experience. I’m thankful that he was so sweet to you and showed you the standard you should set. Although it ended in some hurt, I think that’s a healthy experience as well. You know you deserve better and won’t settle for less!

Hanging out with boys has always come naturally for you (probably due to having two brothers as well as a boy BFF cousin), so I’m sure there will be plenty more boyfriends in your future to come.

You are drawn to the sweet guys (Timothée Chalamet is your “celebrity crush), and I pray that’s the type of man you marry. Kind-hearted and loves the Lord and will lead you to Heaven!

Even though the future is exciting and fun to think about, I love that you are in no rush to grow up. A common trend currently in our culture is for girls your age to be very into skincare routines, name-brand clothing items, and staying up to speed on the latest social media trends.

A BIG perk that comes along with the decision to homeschool is that it helps preserve your childhood. You are in no rush for any of those things. You currently still look in the mirror and are happy and content with the reflection you see. You don’t compare yourself to others. You don’t worry about what others may think. You are just YOU.

You are my beautiful daughter. My sweet girl.

And sadly, the older we get, the more the world strips us away from our “us-ness.” And next year being in middle school, you’d be facing a LOT of those challenges.

I feel strongly that by choosing to homeschool, we’re allowing you more time to connect with yourself. Build up that armor of God, yes, but also just to be who He intended for you to be. Naturally, beautifully, wonderfully made by Him in His image to be TESS!

I pray you continue to enjoy the slow, simple moments of childhood. That you play imaginative games with your little brother, dolls with your sister, and make silly jokes with your older brother.

I also hope that you’re always able to stay connected to these childhood years. Not just through the millions of photos I take of every little moment of your life, but through your own memories and through your firm foundation in who you are.

Making memories with you is so fun. You have been a down-for-whatever kinda kid since birth. I always think about this distinct memory I have of you sleeping on Daddy’s shoulder on a Monorail ride. You have grown up traveling and are very easy to please with whatever we have going on.

You bring the fun and funny to any situation – especially when a mood needs to be uplifted, or a vibe needs to be checked.

I don’t have to worry if you’re having fun; I know you are. You love fun but don’t require much in order to have it. If something isn’t fun? You have a natural ability to turn it around. You have a hilarious sense of humor and such a quick wit.

You have really embraced this side of your personality and have declared that you LOVE being on stage. From school play to church fashion show, you are all about it. We leaned into your talents this year with some of my Instagram content, and you LOVE being in front of the camera.

I’m so proud of you for putting yourself out there and auditioning for a local play. It was a new adventure! While you decided not to pursue it at the moment, I feel confident it’s a path we’ll be traveling soon. You just have that “it” kinda thing. A spark. An infectiousness. A natural gift and talent that I’m excited to see where it leads in the future!

Middle school years are the years for following interests and trying new things, and Daddy and I will each be your biggest cheerleader, cheering you on for it all!

In addition to enjoying the stage life, you also shown an interest in swimming this year. You AMAZE me with your natural talent for things.

We went skiing, and you picked it up so quickly, but even more interesting is that we went ice skating for the first time, and when I shared a video of you on Instagram, someone who was a former professional ice skater reached out to me. They said you had the natural skills to really have an ice skating career.

You try something new and have a very natural ability to be good at whatever it may be. You tried out for the swim team, and the coach immediately wanted to have you on a more advanced team and saw huge potential in you for competition levels.

You’d swim and swim and swim and never get tired. I love swimming laps together with you, too, as swimming is something I have always enjoyed.

Even though you have a natural talent for it, you really aren’t interested in competition. You are hard on yourself, which makes team sports feel like too much pressure, and I think you’re so competitive that you’d rather not be put in a competitive situation.

Kye had a similar struggle, and archery was a GREAT thing for him to help him work through it. I am confident we’ll find your “thing.”

The being hard on yourself trait can often lead to struggles to make decisions and then feeling overwhelmed by those struggles.

You are a girl of big feelings and feel things on a deep level. It’s hard to calm down when you get in that overwhelmed state.

We bought you a punching bag, and it’s helped a ton! You get the emotions out that way. Physically and outside of your own body, so you don’t hold them in. It’s so important to work through our feelings as if we don’t, they will only cause more issues the older we get.

I wish I’d had healthy coping mechanisms at your age, and my goal is to equip you with many tools in your toolbox to help you whenever you have tough feelings you need to work through.

You aren’t afraid to try new things, but you are afraid to not do them well. You have high expectations for yourself. It can be hard work for you to accept criticism, and I think that’s because your inner voice is already tough enough on you!

I love that you have things you enjoy as outlets as well. You seek out quiet moments, little moments just for yourself.

You love to ride the go-cart around our property, you have a HUGE collection of fidgets that you love to load up and take with you to any cousin sleepover, and you are constantly reading and love craft time.

We have had so many great moments this year together, especially as a full family. It feels like all of us have hit our groove for travel and experiences, and I love it so much!

Rocking out together at your first concert (Benson Boone for life!) was a moment I’ll always cherish. Leading up to the concert may have been just as memorable, though – belting the jams and learning all the songs so we’d be ready to sing our hearts out!

Having our house covered in snow was EPIC. Who would think of snow on the ground for 4 days in South Georgia? So amazing, and you and I were the two who never wanted it to stop. The first time it snowed when you were little, you didn’t want much to do with it, but this time, you wanted to make sure to appreciate every bit of it.

We traveled to Savannah in honor of mine and Daddy’s 40th birthdays (the BEST gift we could have given each other, although Spear may be scarred for life from the ghost tour). We visited my Dad on our way to Biltmore House and then to ski (eating snow with you was a fav memory of mine – so yummy right?).

We visited the beach multiple times this year – and made the best of the rain (no big deal to you as you were down to still hit the beach in it).

Of course, we also had plenty of Disney trips this year. And no matter what we have going on at Disney, it’s a FACT that you’ll have popcorn in your hand. You are my snack-loving girl, but popcorn is your passion 😉

We had a couple of girls’ trips to Disney World. A quick one where we were able to find all 10 Pascals, which was SO fun.

We also got to visit both Universal and Epcot with Aunt Katie.

One of my favorite trips of the year is our annual girls’ trip in May. This year, we had a lot of rain, so we watched Titanic, which created a fun memory, and then we visited all four parks in one day! A challenge I’ve always wanted to try, and it was a blast to complete it together.

We have been very blessed that G-Mama has attended SO many of our Disney trips with us. She comes along on all of your birthday trips, and she enjoys it so much.

This year we had a full cousin Disney trip, and it was a BLAST. You loved getting to run all over Hollywood Studios and, in true Tessie fashion, you split your time between hanging with Carter, Spear, and Cam as well as hitting up all the big rides with the older cousins, too.

You and Carter are SO precious and adorable together. It is such a gift that warms my heart so much to see the bond you share. You laugh and laugh and LAUGH.

You tell each other everything and are just your most natural, true selves when you’re together. You have been abundantly blessed in the relationships department. You are so close to each of your siblings, and then to have such an awesome best friend bond with your cousin is a cherry on top!

You are just such a loving little girl – who wouldn’t want to be your bestie? I know in the coming years you’ll make many new friends, and I want that for you – close friends are a gift!

However, siblings and cousins? Those are the best kind of friends because they can last your whole life! You may have a new friend by next week, but family can be counted on your whole life!

We have gotten more fully settled into our new home this year. At this point, it’s safe to say you’re adjusted and no longer missing the old house or struggling to feel at home in the current one.

I have some mom guilt in my own struggles to adjust, and the frustrations and stress you all witnessed me experiencing during the hard work it took to get moved in. You were never a sounding board for me, but I’m sure you felt i,t and I hate that my own issues may have hindered you from more easily adjusting.

However, I think having a full year of memories in the new house really helped us all – those firsts are always hard with any major change!

We’ve had a year of traditions play out in the new living room – Christmas, birthdays, our epic Easter egg hunt. Small things like simple dinners around the table together, joking at the kitchen bar, and climbing up the ladder to your bed to sing “Love Me Tender” to you at night.

It’s been fun to see you embrace a more outdoorsy lifestyle now that we have land. You literally used to be afraid of walking on grass barefoot and would cry at the sight of ants…but now?

You’re picking up dead woodpeckers on the driveway like it’s NOTHING and filming the cat eat a dead rat like you’re creating a National Geographic documentary!

You never complain about helping Daddy work on the treehouse (you are def a Daddy’s little girl!) and are quick to join Britt in jumping on the trampoline. You enjoy the outdoors, and I’m so thankful for that, and it’s been such a huge shift in moving here – one I’m really thankful for.

You have also enjoyed going golfing with Daddy (and, shocker, you’re great at it). We are very hardcore about NOT pressuring any of you with sports.

Kye used his middle school years to really test out new things, and I can see that being the same for you as well, and I think it’s a great thing to have a little experience with lots of things until you find your passion.

I do think golf would check a lot of boxes for you. It’s challenging in a way that will help you to overcome some of your natural perfectionist tendencies, it’s a solo sport which you prefer, it plays into many of your strengths (including…well…you’re strength bc dang girl you are STRONG), and it’s a bonding opportunity with Daddy which I know you enjoy.

You love spending time with your people. You soak up quality time and are so great at it. You meet people where they are and can read their needs and adjust accordingly to meet them. While it’s a beautiful trait, it’s also important to allow others to meet YOUR needs too.

We’re working on you being able to read yourself and your own heart and wants, and to be able to communicate them. It’s been a really neat thing about your relationship with Britt. She is SO different from you, and you have both helped each other grow in these areas.

You’ve come SO far in being able to make decisions and communicate what you want, and I am so proud of you for that!

Speaking of my pride in you…which should be clear, I have plenty of it 😉 I am especially proud of your walk with Jesus.

You are such an example to others as you are always paying attention in the lessons at church and taking notes. I love sitting beside you and sharing a songbook since we’re too short to see the screen.

You take your worship seriously as you do your relationship with God. It’s evident that your priority is obeying His Will and that light shines SO bright. You’re a lighthouse to others – leading them towards their saviour!

I know the years ahead may cause you to, at times, question that faith. I know you will be faced with temptations towards sin, and that sometimes you’ll even fall into those traps.

Just know that it’s okay. We aren’t called to be perfect to please Him. We are simply called to follow the steps of salvation and then live our lives, always striving to walk on the path of righteousness.

We all will sometimes veer off that path; if we didn’t, then why would we need Jesus? Why would His death matter if we didn’t need to be washed anew? He’s never leaving you. And there is no sin too great to not be redeemed through Him.

The moment you were born (a tiny little thing!), you were quickly dubbed my mini-me, and although we are different in many ways and you are very uniquely you, it is so neat to see how many things we continue to have in common as you get older.

I pray you continue to see our commonalities as a blessing and not a curse. You love that we are alike and love that we can connect over our alikeness because we understand each other’s perspectives so clearly.

Our similarities have helped me to meet you where you are, relate to you, and meet your needs. It has also been very healing for me in ways that I cannot fully express.

To see myself in child form and see how easy it is to love you. Literally EVERYONE adores you, even upon just meeting you briefly. There was a distinct interaction this year that was a full-circle moment for me. Hearing “she’s JUST like you, Emily” allowed me to have validation that the lack of love I have experienced was never my fault.

While this might be a strange thing to share in a birthday letter, you won’t be reading this until adulthood, and I want you to know that just YOU BEING YOU is such a gift in so many ways that you can’t even comprehend or fully understand.

Never, ever, ever let anyone make you feel like you are not worthy of love, that you are difficult to love, or that you need to earn love. You ARE love.

Just like from the moment you entered the world, Daddy and I (and Kye and Britt and later Spear too) all loved you so fully and completely, with an unconditional love. But my dear daughter? God has loved you that much and even more since before you were born.

Never settle for anyone in your whole life not loving you. Period.

Being your mom is a daily walk in the sunshine.

I thank God for you.

I hope that today and every day, you know just how loved and cherished you are. You are a true gift, an incredible person, the world is a brighter place because you’re in it.

Happy 11th Birthday My Tessie. Enjoy every second of your special day! I love you,

Mommy xoxoxox

You can read past meaningful birthday wishes via a heartfelt letter for Tess on each of her birthdays here:

10th Birthday

9th Birthday

8th Birthday

7th Birthday

6th Birthday

5th Birthday

4th Birthday

3rd Birthday

2nd Birthday

1st Birthday