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Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Sick and Scared

The morning after Twilight Night (which I'll be blogging about next) I woke up feeling sick. This was on Friday Nov 18th. I thought I just felt sick from lack of sleep (as I didn't go to bed until 3...) but it hasn't gone away. It's now Nov 29th and I'm feeling even worse. I have a list the obgyn gave me of things to do when sick that are safe for the baby. So I've been taking Sudafed and Extra Strength Tylenol for well over a week now. The Sudafed will help clear my head for a couple of hours but it doesn't last all day and I'm still blowing my nose every 5 seconds.

I have not had a fever, just constant yucky, green/bloody, snot. It runs down my nose, it runs down my throat, it clogs my nose, it fills a MILLION tissues. It's also keeping me up at night. I wake up every 2 hours. No joke. I get up. I pee. I blow blow blow blow blow then I try to go back to sleep only to have horrible dreams about going into labor while in this condition then to wake up and do it all again. Typically at about 2-4am I take a couple Tylenol as by then my throat is hurting from all the drainage. It's pretty much a nightmarish cycle.

It's SO ironic how quickly things can change. Over the Thanksgiving holiday I tried practically every trick under the sun to get this baby here. I felt sick then too, but having Stacy deliver me was worth it. Now, only days after Stacy is no longer on call, I'm PRAYING to NOT go into labor. I'm so congested and my head is so cloudy that I literally cry at the thought of delivering a baby in this state. Even if I used painkillers during childbirth I wouldn't want to be sick when in labor...but doing NATURAL childbirth, it's essential that I'm 100%. SO much of the whole process is mental. I have to be 100% in the moment and that's impossible when feeling this cruddy. I for real will flip out if I go into labor before I can get well.

Yesterday Kye and I spent a little over 2 hours at Southern OB in order for me to get some medicine. I could have had Teresa check me but I am waiting until my appointment on Thursday. I don't even want to think about labor right now. At all. Thankfully they gave me a shot (I HATE needles so you KNOW I'm sick if I'm happy to have a shot) and a prescription. It's two pills a day for three days so it must be something legit. I was hoping to wake up this morning feeling better, but I don't. I actually feel worse.

Kye and I had to go to another doctor this morning - I had to run him back up to his dr. so they could check him after he had bronchitis. We saw my fav physicians assistant up there (who doesn't want to be named on the blog haha) and he said we totally didn't have to come in. BUT I'm glad we did. Kye was fine, which I assumed, but I had him look at the prescription they gave me yesterday to see if I'm allowed to take other stuff with it. He said I'm fine to keep taking Sudafed and Tylenol since the medicine is just fighting off the actual cold, not stopping the symptoms. I took some Sudafed right when we got home and I'm hoping it'll kick in quick.

I had a pretty solid pity party moment b/c I'm so, so scared. At this point in pregnancy I shouldn't be afraid. I should be sick and tired of being pregnant and READY to have the BABY. The ONLY reason I'm nervous is that I'm sick. I want to be MYSELF when I bring this sweet baby into the world and not feel like it's an out of body experience. You know how it is when you feel junky, you don't feel like yourself and you don't feel present in the moment. Zach, in trying to comfort me, reminded me that adrenaline really does make a big difference and that I'd probably be fine if I do go into labor. However, I want that adrenaline to help me out just in GENERAL...make me an even stronger version of ME not make me a closer version of myself instead of the sick version ya know?

Ever since I got pregnant and found out my due date my gut has said that this would be a November baby. Specifically November 30th. Um. That's tomorrow. I now hope my gut is WRONG (as it so often is anyway!) as I doubt I'll be back to my usual self that quickly. The nurse at Kye's dr visit this morning told me that shots can take a good 24 hours to start helping so I'm hoping to start feeling better this evening. Until then I'm straight up resting.

I know so many of you are eager and excited to see Blitzen and know if it's a he or she...as am I! However, this sickness has taken over any excitement I feel and I'm asking everyone to PRAY for me to feel better and for Blitzen to patiently WAIT until I'm back to myself. I don't typically have the kind of luck where I get things exactly the way I want them. Usually stuff goes crazy then comes back together and works out in the end. Since that's my "norm" it makes me think I WILL go into labor while feeling horrible. Every contraction makes me nervous and I'm just praying praying for this time to pass quickly so I can be back to wanting to go into labor and feeling ready and prepared for it!!!



2 comments:

  1. I'm sorry to hear you're having such a rough time with this cold! I really hope the medicine helps SOON!! Be sure to rest and take good care of yourself! Sending prayers your way!!

    ReplyDelete
  2. thanks girl! i really appreciate the prayers :)

    ReplyDelete

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