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Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Marriage Seminar and GIVEAWAY!

.....Tomorrow (EARLY) morning we're leaving for Bermuda through Sunday. I know you'll miss me but guess what? You won't have to! I've worked hard to have a blog entry ready for each day that we're gone so as long as the scheduled posting thing works (sometimes it's iffy) we should be good to go! I will miss all of your blogs though so no one have anything too exciting happen ok? (this means you ASHLEY...NO BABY!!! Cross them legs tight till I get home!).....
 
A marriage is WORK and Zach and I are committed to beating today's odds. We're not only never divorcing, but we also strive to have a HAPPY marriage together! Our church hosted a marriage seminar a couple of weekends ago (lead by our visitor, Donnie Hilliard) and I'm so glad we were able to attend. We covered a TON during that weekend and lucky for you I took lots of notes!
  • Loving is an educational process, we learn to love and we need to also teach our spouse how we need to be loved by them
  • The first year of marriage is CRUCIAL (Deut. 24:5). By devoting that first year to "say home and bring happiness to the wife he has married" you will make it a habit to do nice things for your spouse!
  • Anticipation is very valuable in marriage. It's having something positive to look forward to. Setting goals and making plans together gives your relationship that anticipation and gives you things to share together (hellllo vacations!)
  • On average a man who kisses his wife each morning will live 5 YEARS longer than other men!
  • Give the love you desire and you will also receive it.
  • The garden of Eden (Gen 2) was a place where people wanted to be and enjoyed living - our home should be the same way!
  • Memories of home (especially MEALS) are so, so important. Look at the prodigal son (Luke 15), he eventually came to his senses and went home because of the memories he has there.
  • Donnie did a study that showed college age "children" consider their dads successful when they make up to $50,000 a year. When they made above that amount, their children viewed them as less successful overall because quality time is more valuable than money. Reading books, playing ball, and loving Mom were all more valuable in deciding if a dad was "successful"
  • Eve was made out of Adam's rib (which is close to his heart) not his feet (for him to stop on) or his head (for her to lead). He needs a companion!!! (Gen 2)
  • The couples at the highest risk for divorce are those married 3-5 years with 1-2 kids (that would be US!!!!)
  • We are called to "leave and cleave" (Matt 19:5). Our loyalty moves from our parents to our spouse. 
  • It's a spiritual responsibility to meet each others sexual needs (1 Cor. 7) Sex in marriage is God's plan and should be ENJOYED. If you withhold it Satan WILL bring someone else into the picture to tempt you. Sex is the glue that holds marriage together.
  • Love is a decision a matter of the will. (Eph 5:22) Christ loved the church without the church loving him back.
  • Three things husbands are called to do (1 Peter 3): live with your wife, know your wife (and her dreams), and give her honor (hold up on a pedestal)
  • Ways to get back to a good marriage: remember how it was when you first dated, repent and get out of the routine things that are causing problems, replace the bad habits with good ones, do what worked "back in the day" again as it worked the first time to make the other person fall for you!
I thought these were some GREAT pointers but the BEST part of the lesson was actually later during the seminar in a section called "how to affair proof your marriage." Duh, I'll blog about that soon!

One of the books Donnie recommended was Love and Respect (The love she most desires, the respect he desperately needs). He's not the first person who has recommended this book so I bought us a copy to read. I think we'll both read it but separately as I think it's more effective for us to look for our OWN shortcomings instead of sitting together and saying "you need to do this or that." Don't you? Since I KNOW that America's families are in trouble and want to do my little part to help, I bought an extra copy to pass along to one of you!
This giveaway will run through Tuesday May 17th and a winner will be chosen (sorry US only!) at 11:00 PM that evening. To enter the giveaway simply:
  1. Follow this blog (click on "Follow" on the right hand side of the blog) 
  2. Leave a comment letting me know you follow AND tell me one thing you LOVE about being married or look forward to about being married someday (Example entry "I'm a follower and I love being married b/c my hubby makes killer pancakes.")
Up next is a post on how to affair proof your marriage!

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