This morning I had my 38 week check-up. Tomorrow I’m officially 39 weeks, but I wanted to wait this long to get checked again as 1) I didn’t want to hear “no change” 2) I was hoping she’d scrape my membranes and 3) Getting checked sent me into labor with Kye so I’d rather go into labor close to a weekend instead of at the beginning of the week!
Since poor Kye was stuck going with me to the dr Monday when I was sick and going to his dr Tuesday for his bronchitis check…I didn’t want him to have to go through another dr visit this week. Especially with her checking me. Having him in the room would not be helpful! Since Colt had school this morning I met Mrs. Charlotte and Payton and she took the kids to Chick-Fil-A to eat and play during my appointment.
I started having some contractions while in the waiting room which made me semi-nervous b/c I didn’t want to go into labor while at the dr and have them make me go to the hospital or something! Once I met with Teresa we listened to the heartbeat (141) and I got myself ready for her intense checking methods. She doesn’t play games when she checks you and last week I wasn’t prepared for it at all. This time as soon as the nurse said to undress I put my ankles together and knees apart and practiced relaxing even before Teresa came in the room! It was much less uncomfortable this time so I think I did a good job of relaxing 😉
I asked her about scraping my membranes before she did the check and she said she’d see how far along I am first. At this appointment last pregnancy I hadn’t had any changes (I was -1 station, 90% effaced, and 1 cm dilated). What’s so funny is this WHOLE pregnancy I thought I went into labor with Kye at exactly 39 weeks…turns out it was 1 day shy of 39 weeks which is exactly where I am at today! Kinda neat! At my appointment last week I was -2 station, 70% effaced and 2 cm dilated. This week I am currently -1 station, 80% effaced, and 3 cm dilated.
She said she wasn’t going to strip my membranes b/c she’s sure I’m going to go in labor on my own soon. Then she kinda through me for a loop. She talked about inducing me (um I’m SO against induction!)?!? And about epidurals and how I really should sign the forms (no thanks!)?!?! AND she said “you know you aren’t going to be allowed to push longer than 2 hours this time right?” Um…hold up. I thought she and I were on the same page?!?! The only thing I can think is that she just forgot my situation? At least I’m hoping that was the case! I was very careful about how I handled it and just said “I don’t want to be induced b/c I hope to stay at home as long as possible. I didn’t get an epidural last time and had a rough experience during delivery regarding not wanting to use drugs so this time I didn’t even sign the forms so hopefully that won’t be an issue. I’m so thankful Dr. Yarburough (sp?) okayed me pushing longer than 2 hours since Kye and I were doing fine and I’m so glad that this time around I have a signed birth plan that everyone has seen and okayed and that you will be there with me since you have been so supportive of everything.” I thought it was a pretty good answer? 🙂 She seemed to totally flip a switch and said “It’ll go great! I’m not a Nazi…we have to follow the rules but I’m not a stickler!” Again, maybe she really did just forget?
She signed my little white sheet and put on there for them to call her to come in even if she’s not on call. She said the only day she won’t be here is Saturday, so I told her that’s FOR SURE the day I’ll go into labor! Teresa is on call Monday and Thursday of next week and I have my next appointment with her on Wednesday morning. She seemed to think I’ll be seeing her before then though, we’ll see.
When I left I was pretty upset. I really, really want to feel support from the staff who helps deliver my baby and listening to her say that stuff freaked me out. Am I in for another battle zone the whole time? Thankfully I texted Robyn about it and she made a good point (which my pregnant fried brain didn’t even realize), I have a signed birth plan…they HAVE to follow it right?!?! I realized then that I don’t have an actual copy of the signed birth plan. So I called back up to the dr and asked them if there is one on my file and they said yes. I told them that I have print-outs from my computer but that I should probably have copies of the signed one in case there’s any issues. The girl said I wouldn’t need the copies since they can pull it up on my chart. I felt a little better but then Robyn told me that they lost her epidural forms and if she hadn’t had a copy of them with her that they wouldn’t have allowed her to get the epidural! You can NEVER be too prepared right?!?! So I called back and Kye and I drove up there. I now have a copy of the SIGNED birth plan in my possession, ready to go. I’m SO thankful to Robyn for thinking of that as it does help put my mind at ease some!
Zach also made a good point – if the baby and I are healthy and doing fine, I don’t think by law that they can force me to have a c-section even if I push for longer than 2 hours?!?! Just b/c the hospital has a policy in place doesn’t mean I’m forced to stick to it? I’m praying that we don’t even come CLOSE to reaching the 2 hour limit!!!
Emotionally I’m all over the place. I think I’m more nervous about delivery this time around than I was last time. Sometimes not knowing exactly what to expect is better than knowing! Plus practically NO ONE thought I’d be able to handle natural childbirth. It drove me nuts, but it also had me SO motivated. This time I’m expected to do awesome. Everyone assumes I’ll have no problems and be as tough as I was the first time. I don’t do as well with expectations…I prefer to achieve higher than the low expectations people have of me instead of having to live up to high ones. I feel pressure to handle it all like a champ and that’s scary for me. It’s also scary to know that, even though I’ve been through this before, there are STILL SO many unknowns.
On this day in my last pregnancy I was leaving for the hospital! My water had broken 3 hours prior to now after I’d had a MAJOR emotional meltdown. I was so, so, so beyond over being pregnant and just ready to face whatever I had to in order to get that baby out of me. I don’t feel the same way AT ALL this time. I’m scared. Not just of the delivery pains. Not just of the potential battles I’ll face again in the delivery room. Not just of the unknowns of when it’ll happen and how. But also of how much my life will be different once the baby is here. How Kye’s life will be different. If he’ll adjust okay. If nursing will go okay. If scheduling two kids will work out. Right now I’m straight up CHILLING. I’m done with everything that needs to be done and I’m just able to take it easy and relax. Having a baby means an end to all of that. I feel like I’m in denial that this is even happening.
Part of me feels urgent to get this show on the road (now would be wonderful timing since it’s before the weekend and Zach wouldn’t have to miss as much work plus we really need a baby here to get our Christmas card pictures done so we can order the cards and have them sent before Christmas!) but so much of me wants it to take awhile. I feel sad and weepy and I’m not even sure why exactly. I’m just kind of numb and feel totally unlike myself.
On the upside I took my last antibiotic this morning and my snot is very clear and I am feeling better! It’s probably why I’m feeling so emotional…I was too sick to be emotional before and now it’s all catching up with me 😉
Please continue to keep us in your prayers as the time is def. drawing near!!! (Whether I’m ready or not!)