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Wednesday, March 12, 2014

Babywise Benefits Different Personalities

Today is my spotlight day for Babywise Friendly Blog Network week! We are all talking about benefits of Babywise and I wanted to touch on the benefits of Babywise, even when children have different personalities.

From the beginning of Kye's life he was truly a combination of an "angel baby" and a "textbook baby" personality type. When I started implementing Babywise techniques it was rather simple to get him on the schedule and he naturally followed the book pretty closely without much help from me! If the book would say babies would be fussy, Kye was fussy. He woke up often for the 45 minute intruder, teething was a horrible experience for us all, and that witching hour in the evenings was no joke. He pretty much followed the book. And that made the book easy to follow!!!

Not only was Kye a "textbook baby" but his overall disposition and personality was that more towards an "angel baby." He did well with transitions. Never met a stranger. Didn't cry all the time. He mostly went with the flow and was pretty "easy" in most areas. He was so much so towards the "angel baby" realm that I struggled to see how Babywise was benefitting him in many areas. People often commented to me that Kye was just an easy baby and that it wasn't as much due to Babywise (or the hard work I put into it!) but more due to that being just who he was.

Whenever I'd talk about having more children, and especially once I got pregnant with Britt, I often heard oh just wait. People would comment on how easy Kye was and how much trouble I would be in for with my second child. Many times people would even go as far to say good luck with that Babywise stuff when the second one gets here!

And then Britt arrived. Oh boy, did she arrive! I vividly remember being in the hospital less than 24 hours after she was born and Zach and I talking about her cry. That cry. We knew from the start that we did not have an "angel baby" on our hands this time around!!! Britt has always made herself known and has let us know when she's not happy with something. She is much more the "spirited" personality type than Kye was and that presents it's own advantages and disadvantages when parenting her. She has kept us on our toes from early on and truly has a mind of her own.

When the book would say a baby will be fussy, Britt was more than fussy. Independent playtime took a lot of work with her as she always wanted to be with me and didn't naturally enjoy playing on her own. Consistent discipline has been crucial from early on as if she's given an inch she will take that mile! I was thankful for the Wonder Weeks knowledge I had gained since having Kye as Britt very closely followed that developmental pattern...if it said she was in a Wonder Week then I knew I needed to clear my schedule and basically be in survival mode until we could get out of it!!!

Sure, all those people may have been right. I did not have an "easy" second baby. But guess what? Her personality proved to me how much Babywise truly does WORK and how much it really does benefit any personality type. With Kye's "easy" personality I really struggled to know for sure that Babywise was to thank for his wonderful sleep, great behavior, social personality, intelligence, etc. With Britt? I know with confidence that Babywise has made her the child she is. And knowing that for her, it has also given me the confidence to know that Babywise is also what benefitted Kye.

Even though I have had two very different personality types, I followed the SAME parenting philosophy with both children. Having gone through everything with Kye I was better prepared with Britt for how to really be a true "Babywise Mom" from the start and that really benefitted her! My "spirited child" is actually a much better, sounder, sleeper than her "angel baby" brother ever was.

Right now I'm preparing to have my third baby come into the world! Will he or she be another angel/textbook baby like Kye? Or will I have another spirited one like Britt? Either way I'm not overly concerned about it (although my spirited child does wear me out so an angel baby sure would be a nice breather!) because I KNOW that Babywise will help this new baby to be just as well adjusted, well rested, and HAPPY as his or her older siblings!

Kye is now five years old and still benefits from Babywise principles. He plays beautifully on his own, is very obedient, sleeps over 11 hours at night (and still sleeps 2-3 hours for naps many days!), adapts easily to any situation, is respectful to his peers and adults, excels in all academic areas, loves to help others and has a truly giving heart, and makes me proud on a daily basis!

Britt is now close to 2 and ½ years old. She is in that toddler stage which is not easy, but she is also a wonderful child who brightens every room she enters! She is also an amazing sleeper (sleeps at night for 12 hours and for nap each day for 3-4 hours. No joke!), does very well obeying us (not always on the first request, but she's getting there), has wonderful manners, knows how to sit still and be quiet, handles times of transition very well (as long as we prepare her for it which is normal for her age), is learning to play well independently, has SO much creativity and loves pretend play, and is literally off the charts in all areas developmentally!

I am very proud of both of my children and know that our newest blessing will continue to make us proud as well. I always tell new moms that Babywise is not easy. And it's not. It takes a lot of work, especially in the early days. But putting in that work pays off in SUCH a big way. I am truly so thankful for Babywise and how it has benefitted my children. They are both so different in so many ways but it has given them both the best possible start in life and will help guide them throughout childhood and into adulthood!

6 comments:

  1. I have a question...let me say first that I ask this with complete respect. It sounds like Babywise has really worked for your family, but what made you decide to go with it? I have read some about Babywise and the things I've read have been extremely negative to say the least. You strike me as person who would do extensive research before you started something. I just wondered after you read some of the horrible things about Babywise and it's founder, what made you decide to do it?

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  2. Ahhh thank you! same with my first and second baby. the first six months were almost unbearable but now at age 15 months and your baby actually points at her crib when you say its night night time (naps or bedtime) truly is a testament to this process.

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  3. Susanne - i've often wondered why people have such negative things to say about babywise. Like anything, this method is an outline and no way a means to dictate your every step. The main premiss is to establish routine with an eat wake sleep method (which helps regulate metabolism and ultimately sleep patterns). I think ultimately it comes down to personality of parents and what your ultimate end goal is. If you have already planned to co sleep with your baby for the first year you probably wouldn't follow babywise but with that said you really could!

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  4. Most people don't like Babywise because they second-handed heard negative things. And the first edition of Babywise (i think we are on edition number 5 now?) was much more strict about scheduling by the clock. And the popularity of Dr Sears baby-centered parenting also is on the other side of the parenting continuum. Read Babywise for yourself (there is a copy at every single Goodwill or consignment sale).

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  5. First off, Susanne, you are right... Emily is a researcher :-). HA! Secondly, as a "babywise mom" myself, can I just tell you a couple of things that i LOVE about it and maybe a pet peeve of mine, too?
    Pet Peeve: that we even consider ourselves "babywise mom's". please hear my heart on this. Its semantics, i know, but i just dont like the label because it may turn people off from what are WONDERFUL principles because of exactly the things you've said... there is some "bad press" out there regarding the book/principles. Just as "Christian" has a negative connotation, "babywise" can elicit a similar response.
    Having said that, the principles in babywise are seriously just common sense in my mind (not to put down anyone who doesnt follow it). Lots of popular parenting philosophies encourage Eat/Play/Sleep. Its the structure of life, period. Adults get up and eat, work/play and then (of course eat some more through the day... haha) sleep at night. We dont eat ourselves to sleep :-). Its helpful to allow your child to self soothe because, again, as adults we know its not healthy to need to watch tv every night till we get sleepy, etc. We cant eat ourselves into a coma, etc. We have to lay down, quiet ourselves and get to sleep. ITs something we each have to learn. And since we are raising babies who will become adults, its important to "begin as you mean to go on" and provide life's structure at the start of life.
    Just think about it... if we moved to a new country (better yet, a new PLANET!) and knew no one, didnt speak the language, had literally never taken a breath or eaten or pooped and then BAM, all of this new stuff came at once... wouldnt you feel more secure if you quickly caught onto there being a routine throughout your day?
    Babies are just that way, as well. The structure brings comfort to baby (b/c they can trust they will be well fed, well rested, and have plenty of love time from mom/dad) and that way they can focus on figuring everything else out :-)
    Ok. TMI I'm sure!
    OH, and there are horrible things said about the founder of pretty much anything. :-) Even if the ezzo's were psycho (which they arent), you can still glean wisdom from even crazies! HA!

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  6. Actually I hadn't ever heard of the book until after Kye was born. He was about 3 weeks old and a friend recommended it to me. I didn't do any research about it because I was a brand new mama who was in so far over my head at that point (I had a LOT of breastfeeding issues at that stage!). I ordered it because I trusted my friends advice and as soon as I read it, I knew it was for me. It "just clicked" and made complete and total sense to me. I was that way as a Christian as well. I had never been shown the bible and when someone showed it to me I read it and was like BAM! this is a life altering moment ;) While Babywise obviously isn't the Bible...it did change my life as a parent and shaped me into much of the mom I am today. I was actually shocked when I first started seeing the negative things about it but by that point I was already seeing how well it worked and knew those negative things must have been coming from people who didn't read the book. I've never heard a negative thing about Babywise that came from someone who read it cover to cover. Often people will read it and decide it may not work for them and their family, but if people would truly read it (and it's a SHORT, EASY read as well!) then I think there would be a LOT less controversy over it :)

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Thank you for sharing your thoughts! Reading your comments makes my day!



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