What to do When you have Kids in a Wedding

Ever had a child in a wedding?

I’ve had the experience a couple of times and it can be pretty stressful and overwhelming while equally such an honor and so adorable! Today Christine, from Christine Keys, is guest posting on this topic.

You can read my post today over on Wiley Adventures about why we travel with our babies as infants!

A couple of weeks ago my brother got married.

Both of my children were part of the wedding party. They played the parts of page boy and flower girl.

I’m not sure how other parents feel, but personally, I was somewhat anxious about how they would do.

For reference, my kids were 19-months old and 3 years old at the time of the wedding. I didn’t want them making a huge scene and causing major disruptions.

Thankfully, that didn’t happen, and I believe a lot of it had to do with the following tips.

Be Prepared

This involves communication.

Don’t expect the bride and groom to be the ones to always reach out.

They may be tied up and busy with other aspects of the wedding, so take the initiative and be the one to get in touch.

Ask what will be expected of your children.

Make sure to check who is covering the cost of the outfits. Knowledge is power so use that to your advantage. Find out times, dates, colour schemes, etc.

Gather Support

As well as having my children in the wedding party, I was also doing all the hair and make up for the bride and bridesmaids.

This meant that I was tied up for the majority of the morning. I had no choice but to ask for help with the kids.

Find someone that you trust, and ask for support. In my case, it was spread out between my parents, my husband, and some very good family friends.

Go To The Rehearsal

This is for both your benefit and your child/rens. It gives the opportunity to work through any potential issues.

It also means that the venue is familiar to your children so they’re not so overwhelmed on the actual day.

I would suggest figuring out the location of the bathrooms, as well as noting if there is a place to take your child should they start becoming really disruptive during the ceremony.

These two were tired by this point in the wedding. (So was I. 😂) The odd meltdown was starting to happen and I was feeling my stress level rising. Then they busted out this cute number and to top it off, they were dancing to the song I walked down the aisle to 4 years ago! Cue the tears. 😭😍 Thank you so much @a.n.n.a.g.r.a.m_ for taking the time to send this gorgeous shot through! ❤

A post shared by MOTHERHOOD B L O G (@christine_keys) on

Limit Instructions

This is SO important.

I made it known to all relevant parties that it was really important that I be the ONLY one to give the kids instructions.

Even as an adult it can be completely overwhelming when you’ve got several people trying to tell you what to do.

It is very important to keep instructions simple and to the point. I told my kids what they needed to do and who to look for.

I sat at the front of the audience and leaned out as they walked down the aisle.

This meant they could focus on me and not be intimidated by the number of people that were there.

Don’t Put Any Pressure On Them

As much as we might like to, we cannot control our children’s behavior.

Generally speaking, the flower girl and page boy bring the ‘cute factor’ to a wedding. That is their job and nothing beyond it.

Putting pressure on them will more than likely result in a less than favourable outcome. The key is to go with the flow.

Give them basic instructions and if it all turns to custard, then oh well.

As someone who loves to plan and control things, it wasn’t an easy thing for me to let go and trust that things would work out, but you know what?

They did.

Did the kids perfectly behave? No. Did they bring the cute factor? Heck yeah! The bride and groom were happy and that’s all that really matters.

I hope these tips are helpful if you’ve got an upcoming wedding!

Christine is a mother of two with a third on the way! She blogs over at Christine Keys.

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