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BFBN Day: Childwise Principle 1

Thursday, May 8, 2014

Back in the day I prided myself of always reading the "wise" book that was age appropriate for my child. Well, that's not the case right now for me! I'm still on Preschoolwise and Kye is actually in the age range for Childwise now. I really appreciate today's Babywise Friendly Blog Network post from Maureen at Childwise Chat as she discusses the very first principle introduced in Childwise! Something that I have ALWAYS loved about the Babywise series of books is how they are truly focused on the family unit, and this post further shows that emphasis on family!

Be sure to check out my guest post about preschool decisions over at A Mother Far From Home! 

Childwise Principle #1
By Maureen Monfore,

Childwise is based on a set of 15 principles that parents can use as the foundation of their parenting. Each principle will have different applications based on your family’s needs. But despite their different interpretations, each principle is founded on a strong set of parenting ideals.

Take Childwise principle #1 for example. “Great marriages make great parents.” Isn’t it interesting that the very first -- and perhaps most important – principle has nothing to do with children?
Ensuring a healthy marriage is all about establishing a strong foundation for the family. It’s all about giving kids a sense of security. And security is so important, for children and adults.

When kids are insecure about their family, everything else is called into question. If a child isn’t sure that dad will always be there, then who’s to say that mom will be either? Or if mom disrespects dad, why should kids obey dad? When that security is missing, kids live life on shaky ground.

On the flip side, when our marriages are healthy, our kids get to see what love should look like. Love isn’t about anger, disrespect, frustration, or apathy. Love is about kindness and cooperation. And our kids learn more by watching us than by listening to anything we say. When we have a healthy, happy marriage, we are modeling this for our kids.

I remember when my kids were toddlers, they would often have a funny reaction when they saw my husband and I being affectionate. They were curious, but they also had this happy look on their faces. It was as if they realized that the world didn’t revolve around them, and they were happier and more at peace because of it.

So keep that in mind when your kids are around. Don’t be afraid to show affection in front of them. Hug and kiss your spouse. Set aside time when your spouse gets home from work. Dance around the kitchen. Be selfish with your time together. Your kids won’t suffer for it. Let them see and share in the love that establishes the healthy bond of your family.

Image Source: Parents Magazine

I’ve written quite a bit on my blog on this topic. For more, head on over to and read these posts:

·       The Marriage Priority
·       Couch Time
Maureen Monfore is a mother of two young boys, a freelance writer, and the author of and the eBook, Live in Harmony with First-Time Obedience. A loyal follower of the teachings of Gary and Anne Marie Ezzo, she is passionate about teaching children to obey to pave the way for fun, love, learning, and essential moral development.

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