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Thursday, December 20, 2012

How Moms can help Dads

Last month I was beyond honored to take part in Babywise Friendly Blog Network Week! You can read that post here in case you missed it ;) I was even MORE honored when I was recently asked to become a member of the Babywise Friendly Blog Network! I will now be on a rotation with the other members of the group...once a month I'll be featuring one of them as a guest blogger on my blog and one of them will be featuring me! Super awesome and I'm very excited!

Today you can read my blog post about some of my travel tips over on Valerie's blog and I'm featuring a post by Hank Osborne from daddylife.net. I have been looking forward to reading his post as pretty much every blog I read is written by a woman...how refreshing to have a man's perspective, am I right? Enjoy Hank's post today!

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Some moms may have this figured out, but for others this may be a news flash. Most men are not multi taskers. Most men have a one track mind. We men do not intend to be unloving toward you, our wives, by not taking a load off and stepping in where it is needed. It's just that we are not wired up to see things the way a woman sees things.

We truly do not realize it is bedtime, dinner time, homework time, chore time, time to stop wrestling on the living floor, etc, etc. Wives seem ti think it is so obvious in terms of what needs to be done and you often see our non-response as unloving. Most often once it is too late...We can see that this frustrates you when we do not see what is so blatantly obvious to you. Maye there is not a place in our brains for us to store the experiences from these situations so that we can remember them the next time. I can't explain why these lessons are not remembered, I just know that they are so often not remembered.

So what can Moms do to help Dads? 
  • We do need to be asked for help. Honey will you ____ ? (fill in the blank with whatever task needs to be done that you think we should have already realized, but haven't.)
  • Offer encouraging words. For men, even the most gently constructive criticism can cut deep. We strive to provide and protect and love to be recognized for that. Look for the things we do right and tells us about it.
  • And last, but certainly not lease, please think the best of us. We are not trying to get up on your last nerve. We love you and want to help. We just need things spelled out in many colors of crayon sometimes.
Being a dad often brings out the kid in a man. We get so absorbed in the pretend games with the little ones or the rough-housing with the older ones that we forget that life must go on.  So be gentle, respectful, and to the point with your concerns for what needs to be done. We don't realize it is approaching 9 pm and the toddler is still in his jeans and shoes. It does not even register that he needs to have been changed into his pajamas and put in bed an hour ago. All you have to do is walk over and hand us the pajamas and say...with a genuine smile, "would you mind getting Levi ready for bed? It is almost 9 pm." You may be surprised to learn that your husband is as shocked at the time as you are that he does not realize it on his own. Love, Gentleness, Patience, and Respect will go a long way in these situations. I promise.

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A big thanks to Hank for guest blogging today! I know I so often get annoyed with Zach over dumb stuff. He's a great dad. An involved father. I need to do better with approaching him with the love, gentleness, patience and respect he deserves! Anyone else in the same boat? ;)

1 comment:

  1. This deserves a text. Hahaha

    ReplyDelete

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