Links to Amazon are affiliate links...thank you for supporting my blog!

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Open Book

For those of you that have known me a long time, you know that I have always been an open book. It's just who I am. I was always that kid at school who wasn't afraid to raise my hand when I had a question. I'm that friend you can ask how you look in an outfit and know you'll get an honest response. I've never been afraid or ashamed to speak my mind.

While I may be outspoken and very honest I don't think I'd be cast as the "mean girl" on a reality show either. You can be outspoken yet not be hurtful about it. I say what I think but, try to the best of my abilities to, say it in a loving way. I never, ever write on this blog intending to hurt someone. I do not write the things I do to offend or for shock value or hoping to be the topic of someones lunch break gossip. The words you read are the same words I would speak out loud if we were to have a conversation. Actually, in "real life" I'm probably even more open and sarcastic. I try to play down the sarcasm on here as I know tone is difficult to read into (hence why I have a MILLION smiley faces on each post and so many "hahas" that my own dad asked if you're supposed to actually say "ha ha" when you read it).

When I started blogging almost four years ago very few people read it and I know now more and more people are reading my posts. I started out keeping the blog just for my own personal journal. To reference someday when needed (which has been SO helpful already!) and for my children to have so they can someday reflect back on their lives from their mother's perspective. As it has evolved, I now also write it in hopes that I can help others. With parenting issues, spiritually, personally, in any way that I can. I am not a person of many talents. I can't draw. Or sing. I'm terrible at sports. However, I've always been a writer. I express myself best through writing and feel like this blog is my way to use the gift God has given me. It is my personal ministry.

I know some people may not like my openness. People have told me plenty of times that they could never be as open as I am. As public about such private things. Just because some people may not personally like what I have to say does not make it wrong or sinful for me to say it. That being said, I'm a work in progress just like everyone else. I hope what you see and read on my blog today is more mature, more God-focused, and more tactfully spoken than what you could go back and read from my entries four years ago. Or even six months ago. I'm constantly striving to improve in my personal walk with the Lord and that growth, I hope, is obvious here as well.

While I am a confident person, I in no way consider myself better than anyone else at all. If I am writing something that I am worried will be hurtful, I delete it. I edit my posts. I don't just write my thoughts and hit "publish." I read and re-read to make sure I'm not writing something that could possibly offend or hurt someone. I read SO many other blogs out there that these women write who don't worry about offending anyone and sometimes I envy them. It's not easy to try to walk that line of being truthful and honest yet also to not offend. And sometimes it's impossible (for example, my post on spanking probably offended some of you who don't believe in it but there is no way around that). I do my best and will continue to do so in the future.

With the evolution of this blog, and the readership that has come from it, I know some people out there don't read it because they are my friend, or because they like what I say, or because they are trying to learn something, or that they just want to see my kids pictures. Some people may be reading it in order to find the bad in it. To pick at me. To gossip about me. To take something I say and turn it into something I didn't intend for it to be. I'd love to be strong enough in my own skin to say that this doesn't bother me, but it does.

We are blessed to live in a world where we can make our own choices and decisions. We all come from different walks of life and have had different experiences. We all have our own personal beliefs on what is appropriate and inappropriate. Personally, I find a lot of what I see on facebook to be inappropriate. Many of my "friends" will post status updates with swear words. Pictures of them partying it up and being obviously drunk. Comments that talk negatively about God or put down those who follow Him. I am offended by such things. They aren't personal attacks on me in any way but I surely don't like to read them or see them. I have the choice to stop being "friends" with those people. I have the choice to not look at their pages or to read their posts. Same with blogging. There is a famous blogger out there that I don't follow. She talks negatively about God quite often and I no longer read her blog or have a link to it on my sidebar. If you read this blog and you don't personally like what you read, you also have a choice. I in no way force anyone to read this. I post a link to my facebook page every time I update the blog. It's pretty easy to simply not click the link.

All of that being said, I do truly care about anyone who may have ever read anything I've written and has been hurt by it in any way. I hate the idea of hurting someone. I especially hate that thought that I could be causing someone to sin. Romans 14:13 says: "Therefore let us stop passing judgment on one another. Instead, make up your mind not to put any stumbling block or obstacle in the way of a brother or sister" If the things I say here cause anyone to talk bad about me or gossip in someway then I'm causing them to sin.

I urge anyone who has ever been offended or hurt by anything I have written here, or who may become offended or hurt by something in the future, to please contact me. Together we can talk about it. It seriously eats away at me to think that I could possibly hurt someone and not even know it. I assure you it has never been intentional and I'm sure, if such a situation arises, that we can work it out. I will apologize if needed and rectify the situation if at all possible. Matthew 18:15 says "If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault, just between the two of you. If he listens to you, you have won your brother over."

My personal email address is deliasgoddess33{at}aol{dot}com (I know it's lame...but I made it up when I was 13 and I was OBSESSED with the Delia's clothing catalog haha).

While I never want to offend or hurt anyone, I will also never stop being myself. This is my blog. My story. I refuse to ever stop being open, upfront, and honest. I am proud of the blog entries I have written. Zach reads each post and he, too, is proud. My parents get emailed updates of each blog entry I write and they are proud of me. I know that for every email I may start getting regarding being upset or offended, that I'll have had ten more from people who my openness has helped.

Thank you to all of you who choose to continue down this journey with me!

13 comments:

  1. I loved this post, more than any other you have ever written!! I completely agree with you! YOU have the right to say what you please, and others have the right to read it or not read it. Personally you have never offended me, and I honestly don't see how you writing a blog about your family and your experiences ever offend anyone!! But that's just me. So just wanted you to know I read your blog bc I love your parenting skill, you give me ideas on things I don't already do. I also enjoy reading up on your children and LOVE the pictures. I LOVE children!!
    I love that I can keep in contact with high school people through facebook and blogging and seeing how everyone is doing!!
    It totally bugs the heck out me when I see outragious facebook posts, and pictures. Sometimes I have to bite my tongue because the 'mother' in me wants to pop their hands and give them lectures!! (I try to think of others when I make posts too, i too am always scared of offending someone!)
    Anyway, sorry to ramble. Just thought you should hear that you are doing awesome!!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Dude - I think it is awesome that you are so open and honest!  I don't know you from Adam's house cat but somehow I found your blog and I have been reading it ever since because you are so open.  We have a lot in common and I learn a lot from you and appreciate that you open your life up to us, and show us the good and the bad - the highlights and the struggles and everything in between.  I am a stay at home mom too with two small kids so I when I read your blog I feel like I have a "friend" who is going through the same things I am and I feel better knowing that I am not alone in my situation.  I know that God knows your heart and your intentions and I hate that there are people out there who take issue with what you say.  Keep doing what you are doing and be who you are because you do does make a difference to some of us in a very positive way :)  My husband thinks I'm crazy because I talk about my "friend" in Valdosta hahaha  P.S. - I was obsessed with Delia's when I was younger too - I still have a sweater I ordered from there because I can't bring myself to get rid of it!

    ReplyDelete
  3. I am not sure what prompted these feelings to be so overwhelming to you that you felt you had to write a post like this, but I hope that it is a growing experience. One of the things that I admire about you is exactly what you said in that first paragraph - you say what you think. If you know in your heart that you are not in anyway trying to offend people on purpose then that should be enough for you to have peace with yourself. Someone will always be offended no matter what you say or how you say it and on the internet it's as easy as you stated - remove them. Although in life it's a little more awkward. Keep your chin up and just try to brush off the negativity... in the end this is your blog and your facebook page... plus, you and Danielle post a ton of scriptures and talk heavily about your beliefs in god and I can't help but to keep reading your blogs ;) -I know you are not 'preaching' to me specifically because I don't take things personally and this is where you guys post on your life. ::cough:: everyone needs to get over it because it's not always about them ::cough::- :)

    ReplyDelete
  4. I hope nothing "bad" happened that you felt you might have to write that post... We don't know each other in personal life but I love your blog because it helped me through a rough time almost 4 years ago. These days it was like "medicine" for me to read stories out of a normal and healthy life. I stopped reading on the internet at all for about 18 months because there was no opportunity for me having internet at home. Some months ago I "restarted" reading your blog and I still love your honesty, your open-minded posts and I've learned so many things from you. Not only I became better in English *laugh* but  also became stronger in my believe in God. It's such a precious gift you have - to say what you think in such a GOOD way. We are all human and we have some different opinions, what makes life even more interesting. I hope that no one blames you for being that strong.

    ReplyDelete
  5. THE reason i became real life friends with you who started as just my blog friend is because i TRUST you. I KNEW you were the type of person who is loyal and honest and kind and real. I love that about you, friend. And as your journey of your walk with the Lord makes you more Christlike, I believe it makes us more "real". Sure you may or may not at some point decide to edit something (like you did w/ your post on "that which shall not be named" about Kye... haha!) but that is your discretion.
    Love you, friend.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Em, I love you for YOU! Your honesty has always been something I admired whether I agree or disagree. You have always been that encouraging friend I needed since we became friends...actually before we were really friends! It makes me sad that someone might seek to find a fault in you, or anyone else for that matter. You are truly an obedient child of God and a wonderful sister in Christ. I love you:)

    ReplyDelete
  7. I find this post interesting. Ive been reading your blog for several years now. My husband calls me a stalker because I read every day. (he doesn't understand the blog world.) I enjoy your honesty. You are actually one of those people that I'm envious of because you are so honest. I ended up having to make my blog private because I had friends/ family who read it and wouldn't agree with thins I was saying, get offended. Or think I was trying to portray that I lead the perfect life (obviously they didn't actually read my blog!) I like your honesty and ive gotten soooo many ideas from you- yes, I admit, I stole them!! Keep writing the way you want!

    ReplyDelete
  8. Sweetie, you can't
    please all of the people all of the time.  


     


    For you to write so
    transparently about your life's challenges, struggles, problems and most of
    all, the joys that you encounter daily as a young wife and a new mom is
    honestly refreshing.  Your personal
    growth as a young Christian adult is displayed for anyone to see.  The fact that you are not only aware, but
    extremely concerned that something you say might offend someone else is
    admirable, but honey, God alone knows your heart.  And if you truly write this blog with your
    eye on glorifying God, then that’s really all you can do.  I don’t believe for a minute that you would
    ever write anything to intentionally hurt or malign anyone else.  Don’t change who you are, and I’ll pray that
    those who read your words, are hearing them as they are intended, no more, no
    less.


     


     

    ReplyDelete
  9. We have talked privately, but I have to show my support for you publicly!  
    You have ALWAYS been open and honest.  Either people like it or they don't.  It's not a bad thing, so if they don't like it that is their problem.  Through talking about this situation, I KNOW your heart, and I know that you never intend to hurt someone.  Discussing something often times makes people uncomfortable, but NOONE gets along all the time and agrees on everything!
    We have different opinions on TONS of stuff!  For example, your breastfeeding week drove me crazy because I felt like it made me feel like I was less of a mom because I don't BF.  So I didn't read it.  HEY WHAT DO YOU KNOW... I"M AN ADULT AND MADE A CHOICE....  what a concept.  NO ONE HAS to read your blog.  No one has to read mine either!  I, just like you KNOW that I have people who read everything I write and pick apart everything I say and make things into something they aren't.  They talk about us and say... wow can you believe she said or did THAT.  That makes me so sad for them... You don't have anything better to do with your time, then read my blog and criticize me??

    You and I have known each other for a LONG time- but we became REAL friends through blogging.  If I stopped blogging today, I would be SO GRATEFUL for the relationships I have developed with you, Kelly and Katie.  You are my blog girls.  You have done things for me that I could never repay you for.  In my worst times, you were the best friend I could ask for.  

    So, if someone chooses to not like you, I say it is THEIR PROBLEM.  You better NEVER change.  I know you won't.  I love you the way you are.  

    And... GUESS WHAT... you ARE the only reason I would go to Valdosta.  I HAVE TOLD YOU THAT BEFORE.  

    In closing.... if you don't like  it, no one is forcing you to read it.  Stop hating!

    ((((retracting claws))))  MEOW!!!!!!!!!!!  :)

    XOXO

    ReplyDelete
  10. mega2300 thank you so much!!! i, too, was very shocked that i have offended anyone by my blog but to each their own right? ;) I still stay "friends" with all the people on facebook who may "offend" me as sometimes it's just fun to see what they will say or post next haha! keeps my boring little life a little more interesting ;)

    ReplyDelete
  11. anna mccall  thank you for your support!!!! I STILL rock some Delia's stuff. I literally CRIED when they opened their store at the mall of georgia up near atlanta. I couldn't believe i'd be able to shop there in person haha. So lame! I, too, annoy my husband with talk about my blog friends! It's funny b/c now most of the blog strangers I have always stalked have turned into real life friends! Do you have a blog? I'd love to read it!!!! Thank you for sticking with me through the ups and downs of life and for encouraging me to keep on going! thank you thank you ;)

    ReplyDelete
  12. Danielle Eckerle It has been SUCH a growing experience for SURE!!! I LOVE that I have friends with all kinds of different beliefs and perspectives...something I cherish about our friendship, and always have, is that we can have differences but ALWAYS respect each other and don't let those differences affect that respect :) I wish everyone could be that way but sadly some people don't know how to deal with it when everyone isn't just like them!

    ReplyDelete
  13. @e54f452e3666edf3a4bec99d3d0bff66 Wow. Thank you for writing this to me. It gives me chills! Knowing that this little blog has helped you in some way makes dealing with anyone who may not like it totally worth it! I'm SO glad I could help with whatever you were going through and hope that you are doing better now. We are all on our own walks with the Lord and are at different stages in that walk. I hope I can continue to grow closer to Him and through that growth help inspire others to do the same. I appreciate you writing me more than you know and it really, really means a lot. Thank you!!!!!

    ReplyDelete

Thank you for sharing your thoughts! Reading your comments makes my day!



Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...
 
Blogging tips